this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2024
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Read my Year 7 journal today and it made me sad. Oh, sweet summer child. It puts things into perspective though, because in some years from now, I'll feel the same way about myself now.
my sad teenage life
As a young teenager, who had no real friends or deep connections, I was thrown into a class with people who bullied me. I thought I was the problem, when the problem was that I just didn't gel with those people. I desperately wanted the approval of people around me, and couldn't bring myself to leave the only "friend" I had who I knew was a really bad influence on me. She ended up being a bully too. I also grappled with low self-esteem, body image issues and constantly felt like I was never enough. Not smart enough, not pretty enough, etc.There were so many signs I was dealing with ADHD and potentially autism too. I was constantly losing things, was never focused in class. I had specific rules for journalling, and limited interests. Most of my time was spent wanting to do my work, but doing nothing instead, hyperfixating on people, random special interests that would leave in a week, and the thoughts in my head. The being in my head thing hasn't entirely left, and I'm not sure it ever will. But the self-esteem thing has gotten a tiny bit better. I have awesome friends now. I have more freedom and independence to explore the world.
So now I have another reason to become a teacher or do some kind of wellbeing work. To somehow help kids have a better experience than I did.
Been there. And you’re so conditioned to blame yourself you can’t see that you’re simply surrounded by arseholes. 0/10 ✂️
That’s a noble goal but don’t forget to take care of yourself first (whether that’s ensuring a job with adequate pay or reducing work stressors). If you don’t have your physical and mental health you have nothing.
I think that's a great goal 🙂
So many hugs.