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US about to declare war on the Arctic and bring some freedom to…uh…the penguins?
That would be a war against the world and they would break their own agreement.
And America never breaks agreements!
Yeah, it's Russia sniffing around the area that should be unclaimable any nation.
Gonna find a penguin wedding and drone strike it. Just for shits and giggles. (All penguins within 500ft of the impact are designated "Enemy Combatants" by default. (This totally isn't a war crime))
Robert M. Gates:
Very legal. Very cool.
I was about to correct you, but then thought, no, I wouldn't put it past the US to invade the Arctic when oil is discovered in the Antarctic.
[Trump pulls out a sharpie and starts circling the wrong part of the map]
"I AM PLACING TARIFFS ON PENGUINS UNTIL THEY GIVE US THEIR OIL AND SHOW ME HOW TO DO ALL THE DANCE MOVES FROM HAPPY FEET!"
Followed by 65 year old Moms whose children haven't spoken to in a decade making Facebook memes with a Minion with Trump's toupee and 8 clones of the same exact frame of Pingu atop an Iceberg, next to a crop of the American Flag from Apollo 11, with an oil rig in the background.
Upper Text: Happy Feet Tariffs: The Final Frontier!
Bottom Text: Trump and Penguins Agree - LOVE America!