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“I don’t want FOP, goddammit. I’m a Dapper Dan man.”

Ingredients:

3 oz beeswax
2 oz coconut oil
1 tsp essential oil or beard oil

In a double boiler, melt coconut oil and wax.
Stir until thoroughly mixed.
Remove from heat and allow the mixture to begin to cool.
Before the melted mixture begins to solidify, add essential oil and stir thoroughly.
Pour into containers and allow the mixture to harden.

To use, scrape a pea-sized amount with the back of your thumbnail, and rub it between your palms to melt.
Rub the melted wax into your beard, starting at the follicles and comb through with your fingers.
Shape and style as desired.
Reapply as needed.

Sure, I do roughly 3:2 ratio of beeswax and coconut oil by weight. I have a long, curly beard and a long mustache, so I like to have a little bit of hold to it. My beard is naturally soft, so it doesn't really get scratchy or oily, but it will tangle if I don't brush it frequently. The wax helps me look like less of a crazy homeless person.

Melt them both in a double boiler (I just use a metal bowl that fits in our small saucepot). After it is thoroughly melted and mixed, I take it off the heat and stir in about a teaspoon of essential oils. Heat can denature or evaporate the flavor compounds, so you don't want to cook them. Then just pour it into a jar and let it cool. I've kept a bunch of old Oui Yogurt jars and bought lids, and I also bough a 48 pack of tiny plastic lip balm containers for portability. Those are great because I can put different flavors into different containers and try smaller quantities without wasting a bunch of wax.

I've also received a few different gift sets of various scented beard oils, which in my experience are often too strong, so I've used those to flavor the balm.

For essential oils, I like citrus like lemon, bergamot, or grapefruit, sometimes I use tea tree or eucalyptus and mint, and my wife really likes sandalwood, vanilla and bourbon. I am not a huge fan of cedar or oak, or the floral scents like lavender or rose. It's going to be on my face all day, so I want it to be something that I like to smell, but not overpowering. Nobody on the subway should be able to smell my beard.

I think overall I spent about $50 on beeswax, organic coconut oil, and essential oils (not including the gifts) and have been using it almost daily for about 2 years.

The coconut oil did pass the "best by" date a few months ago, but I keep it in a cool, dark place and it doesn't smell off yet. I'll probably buy some fresh this fall.

The balm will develop an "off" smell if you leave it in the sun. I usually make fresh balm every 6-8 weeks. The small plastic jars last about a week, and the yogurt jar lasts about a month.

Edited to add the recipe up front. I realized I did that recipe blog thing that I hate where you have to read a journal entry to find the actual recipe.

My hot take is to completely avoid beard balm because it's so greasy.

I used Groom and Clean, which is a water based leave in conditioner. Life chnaging.

Coconut oil and beeswax. Keep it simple. I used to add jojoba oil and other carrier oils, but it didn't seem to make a difference.

I always try to point out that "alternative" means it's something different than. Like an alternative to something that helps. You wouldn't eat "alternative food." Because it's not food.

Epsom salts don't do anything for muscles: https://www.painscience.com/articles/epsom-salts.php

There are a ton of references in the article.