this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
55 points (98.2% liked)
Greentext
4368 readers
2211 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
People do need these things, but it’s both. Part of stepping back and introspecting should be learning that you aren’t to everyone’s tastes no matter what you do. You could be an active volunteer athlete and charming as hell and get rejected because your life sounds exhausting to someone you like. That’s not bad, that’s life. Be who you want to be and accept that not everyone wants that person.
That'd be easy when rejected outright. Not when your contacts with the person you like have made you lower your guard and start believing that they may accept you, and then they just ... throw you out.
I'm starting to appreciate the traditional way, where you know whom you can meet and possibly marry and whom you can't. It's a cultural thing, and some people's upbringing is just incompatible with mine. I wouldn't ever do anything like that to a person who'd like me even if I didn't like them, it's like throwing out a dog or a cat.
A bit like those societies where lynching is normal - if it's a crowd doing it, then it's not a crime. So having grown up in many families, girls and boys think that if for some reason another side seems weak or ill or depressed and in general not fun, that requires no effort on their side, just look for someone more fun, no humanity required. I fail to see how such people are going to create families of their own and have children, though.
If you act in real life in any way similar to this comment... yeah it's your personality and you'll keep getting rejected as soon as people see this side of you. Work on positivity. Positivity attracts people, overwhelming negativity like this attitude you are displaying here repulses them. Of course there are exceptions but like it or not, it's a fact for the majority of people.
No, the "negativity and positivity" folks are the kind I don't wanna even to argue with. No, thanks.
One my friend, 7 years older than me, still depends on his parents to pay his rent. He talks like you about "negativity" and "positivity", a lot. It would seem that attracting people is one of the few things he can do. He is my friend regardless of faults and mistakes, but if I were like you, he probably wouldn't be.
Another my friend blabbers about "negativity and positivity" too, but sometimes posts really long walls of hardly-comprehensible maniacal texts at 2 AM involving lots of emotions. She doesn't want to visit a psychiatrist. On a brighter side, she's the only person which talks to me after the rejection just as well as before, and the rejection itself she managed to do right - simply by being human.
This is not a reason. I have a friend with the same amount of "negativity" as myself, that friend is a girl too, though. Helped me through hard times. She does have same problems as I do, but for girls it's different.
And my sister's boyfriend is of the "multiple suicide attempts" kind and his relative cheerfulness doesn't quite seem cheerful.
And my cousins' dad has PTSD from war, he's a very cheerful man often, but he doesn't treat "negativity" as something justifying what you justify.
Other than that, you having a cold or a food poisoning is also unattractive. Same with depression. These things come and go.
It's cowardly and disgusting to discard people for this reason. I wouldn't do that, I'm just surprised every time that for others it's normal.
Also if you do that, then at least be direct and don't behave as if it's another's fault, because that another is going to waste lots of effort and emotion to find out that they've done nothing wrong, it's just that your parents have failed.
EDIT: Yep, didn't want to argue that and wrote a rant.
If people feel bad being around you, they're not going to want to be around you. Simple as that. It's not even a conscious decision, it's a subconscious mechanism of being part of a social species. It's not just plain negativity, but moreso festering bitterness. Your comments exude it. And it matches what you said, people don't "discard" you immediately, but once you get to know them, drop your guard, and show them your bitterness.
You whine that people shouldn't "discard" you even though you're so bitter, but that right there is a sign of entitledness. People have one life, why spend it with someone bitter who makes you miserable, instead of someone who makes you feel good and happy and helps you get the most out of the one short life you get? They're not "discarding" you, it's not all about you, they are protecting their own right to seek happiness in life. You try to paint it as if it's all about you, removing their agency, and their rights, it's just about you, you, you.
You can ignore what I'm saying, or try to paint me as a bad person for saying it, but it is a fact. And I'm not the one complaining about being "discarded." You're not stuck, you can change. Or you can just blame me for saying it like you blame everyone else, ignore your own agency and responsibility, and stay miserable. Your choice.
I mean, you start with admitting your failure at reading comprehension. Why should I explore your reply further?
Looking through it diagonally - your choice of words, like "bitter", "whine" and "entitledness" doesn't really raise expectations.
The first part is some picture of me painted by your imagination without regard for my comments which admittedly contain a lot of text, often redundant.
The second part is pure demagogy without any essence with some traits of how people bad at motivational rhetoric imagine it.
I mean, however I would feel about various events in my life, I'm happy (literally, this comparison makes me feel much better right now) I'm not you.
If you are reading this expecting to find some answer to your opinions on me, and not a description of you, there will be none.