Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
view the rest of the comments
Girl, you do not see what everyone else sees. Your "dysphoria" is worse than ever because you feel like you don't live up to the brain worms beauty standards that all women have forced down our throats. You can be a bombshell and still not get loved or snuggled. Being ultra pretty won't bring that, but appreciating yourself will.
The biggest thing standing in the way of you getting the love you need is how unhappy you are. When I was a young adult, I thought I could never find a relationship because I was ugly as hell. Looking back at my boy appearance, I looked fine. Plenty of dudes who looked like that found the relationships that seemed so impossible at the time.
The reason I couldn't get one was because I hated myself. I had no confidence in how I carried myself as I thought I was the ugliest person on earth. Now that I've started to transition, I'm feeling so much better about my appearance. I still see problems that really bug me, especially my fat distribution and unsymmetrical face, but I know I'll never think I look perfect. I'll never see no problems, even if I improve those things.
The secret to feeling better about yourself is appreciating what things you can feel better about. You have cute hair, sweet eyes, fully lips, and adorable cheeks. You look like a woman, a sad woman, but not a man. People perceiving you as a man might have more to do with how they know you from the past than who you are now. Unless they see you in a dress with the most fem makeup imaginable, their perception of you just won't update. You're both overlaying a ghost on you rather than seeing the truth.
If I had to presume something that bothers you about your appearance, I'd guess it's having a bigger nose, which makes me really sad. So many women have noses like yours, it's just a beauty standard thing rather than a gendered thing. If you dislike how they look right now, try smiling. Everyone looks better when they smile or laugh, as they seem more approachable and friendly.
You're a pretty girl who I'd be more than willing to cuddle, holding and soothing, telling you that you're safe from the imaginary man you see in the mirror.