Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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There's not so much that some stranger on the internet can say that you don't already know.
Professional help to work through feelings of inadequacy might be useful if you can swing it. As I'm sure you're aware you are probably holding yourself to expectations you wouldn't dream of inflicting on others, someone/someone's did that to you and it'll take work to undo it.
Life has brutual periods, and softer ones. Nothing's over till the end and there's a lot of beautiful things even amongst all the hardship. I have found Albert Camus's thoughts/absurdism in general useful for contextualising suffering and understanding why I want to continue personally, maybe you would too?
Existentialism, and Camus in particular have a lot of influence in my thought patterns. But to Camus, love was one of the central pillars of deriving meaning from nothingness.
And I don't have that.
In fact, I have significantly less love than before.
I have people that say they care, and in the moment, they mean that. But at the end of the day, I don't matter enough to check in on, unless I warn them.
I just thought for the first time in my life I would be celebrated and appreciated for who I am.
But the reality is, no matter how much they front or posture, the "normals" will never accept me.
I could offer them salvation on a silver platter, and still be met with disdain.
So, again, what's the point? What's the point in trying?
I can't answer that for you, I see your pain and wish there was some magical incantation I could write down that would ease it but there isn't.
I have gone through very lonely periods, and less lonely periods, and for now my wife, the dogs I've taken in, my sisters, and my niece are enough for me.
I don't know what's in your possible futures, all I can say is it's probably less dire than the visions of doom and hopelessness that accompany moments of crisis.
Volunteering at animal sanctuaries can be a good way to get some low pressure social contact and physical affection (albeit from non humans) when there aren't humans we can rely on.