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If English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me. (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

God is all powerful, but not powerful enough to preserve his own inspired writings... or talk to anyone plainly because, ugh, why would they create language then stoop so low to use it... I mean they are so busy with those cosmological constants and quantum fields and all. How could they possibly have the time to act like sane reasonable people, or write down any of those ontological and undisputable fundamental building blocks of the universe.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

God waited 14 billion years until humans appeared. And then he waited another 200,000 years until finally revealing the one and only true religion to them. And he gets really upset if you play with your wiener. Makes perfect sense.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Although god gets upset if you play with your weiner, it becomes okay after you tell your priest about it...but the forgiveness doesn't stick. You have to tell that priest after every time to be forgiven.

/Catholicism

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Gee, I wonder why that is ...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Now I'm wondering, if your priest plays with your weiner for you, does god consider that instant forgiveness or do you still need to see your priest in confession? Does it count if he hasn't confessed to another priest? What if those priests played with their weiners together? If all the priests are giving each other handies, is there no (dong related) forgiveness for anyone?!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

There are no losers in catholicism, only wieners.