this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
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Ooh. Apparently there's a meeting happening right now to decide what they're going to do with the new kid and how they'll manage the outcomes of it for me.
The results will be either: A. I should suck it up and go home B. He should suck it up and stop breaking the rules C. The department should suck it up and move him elsewhere
I didn't really share very much about exactly how it was affecting me here, because it's the sort of thing that I feel like will make me sound entitled and like a snowflake. But his move in and the resulting chaos really did affect me. I think it actually affected me more than when I was at the last place and things were really abusive, because back then I didn't miss stability, because I never had any to begin with. But now I've had a chance to be in a stable and supportive place where I don't need to always have an ear out of my headphones in case shit hits the fan, or barricade my door for safety, or have to sleep light so I don't get woken up by cops shining a light in my face after opening the wrong room. It was really hard to adjust to that again, and I completely lost all will and motivation to do anything, even eat and drink.
I'm fairly happy in this hotel, and things are going well again, but I do wonder if it was a good idea to agree to come here. After all, I will probably just walk back into the same shit show I did after returning from my holiday last time. And I'm not sure I can handle the constant yoyo-ing
A is not a goer imo. B sounds like it was dreamed up by an honest politician (which does not exist). C means the department has to acknowledge it has fucked up - again. Which may not happen. Not a lot of good outcomes on offer here. For now, the hotel is looking more and more like the better short term solution until the kid either goes or cleans up his act. I really hope this situation works itself out in a way that you can cope with.
Hope it turns out well for you.
So I dont really know the specifics of the situation, but guessing there is a good reason they cant say "B, and if you stuff up one more time you're out on your ass" to the other kid?
Yeah that's sort of what I meant. There is the strike and warning system thing, and he's been issued with 1 warning. So 2 more stuff ups would mean being kicked out
hows he only on 1 warning if the cops had to be called or your having to barricade your door?
There's 3 strikes before the warnings start, and 3 warnings before a kick out. They also do a grace period where they won't do a formal strike, just a verbal warning.
So essentially it can go something like this: 3 verbal warnings, then 3 strikes, then 3 proper warnings, then kicked out
Also the barricading my door is more about not wanting workers opening my door. The workers are here for him, but aren't his workers. But they're not really trained either, and never get briefed on who's room's who's
yeah... id be reporting to whatever org that people are opening your door at night, that turns scary real fast.
Ideally it'd be B. as it should have been from the beginning, but that's unlikely. The next best option is C.
A. is not an option, you really do need to be plain with them about how badly it's affected you and you're well within your rights to crack the shits. Tell them even that you keep getting woken up by the cops and with the lack of sleep could lose your job. Really be straight up about what's been happening or they possibly will allow the same shitshow to continue.
You're not entitled or a snowflake. Don't let them gaslight you into tolerating this situation because it's more convenient for them to be lazy.
They screwed up and put this kid in a setting that he wasn't suited for and it's disrupting your stability. They need to fix it.
I have been honest with them about how I've been affected by it all. I sent it to my entire care team last monday morning a few hours before I had a care team meeting. I have a few really supportive people in my care team, and 2 of them wrote letters about the situation, too. That's probably a large part of the reason why I ended up in this hotel so quickly.
From what I've heard, I actually think C is the best option. Apparently in the weeks leading up to his move in, he was saying he didn't want to move here, and I've been told he still doesn't want to be here. It also seems that a lot of the things he's done since moving in have been the result of wanting to be kicked out. Lead tenant is meant to be a voluntary program, and it doesn't work if people don't genuinely want to be here
Thanks for saying that, I've been struggling to talk about it because I know many people have been through worse things, and by world standards I'm in a good situation. It doesn't help that I've actually experienced much worse living situations before, I've seen how bad things can get. So being so down while being in a much better position than I was 3 years ago makes me feel ungrateful and selfish.
I get it. It's very normal though. There's a difference to being in a situation for so long you kind of numb out a little vs experiencing something better and then losing that hope. Also some of what you're experiencing could still fall under the heading of institutional abuse.
IANAL and not familiar with the eligibility criteria, whether there's a child protection specific instance, but I do know there are organisations to protect vulnerable people in resi. Perhaps you might be able to find an independent visitor or someone to advocate for your best interests in all this. Because this current bunch aren't...
This one is in Queensland but perhaps there's a Victorian equivalent https://www.publicguardian.qld.gov.au/i-am-a-child-or-young-person/who-can-help-you/community-visitors
Ok, if you scroll down there's an entry for the Community Visitors Program in Victoria https://providers.dffh.vic.gov.au/useful-contacts-supported-residential-services https://providers.dffh.vic.gov.au/useful-contacts-supported-residential-services
Whether or not you want to contact them is up to you, as you've seen there can be blowback from mismanagement and complaining is risky when the organisation controls where you live. But definitely keep that in your back pocket if they try to send you back into an unsafe situation. Perhaps even call them now with a view to asking if they can help you