this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2024
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The Monkey's Paw
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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*
Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.
^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^
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You can freeze time and explore with your bestie, but your bestie experiences time normally. You attempt to weekend at Burnie's them about, but because you are actually moving at such an incredible speed, they are ripped apart in a nuclear explosion as they are accelerated to light speed and their atoms split. The resulting nuclear detonation kills yourself and leaves a crater 50 miles wide.