this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2024
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The picture that made you click on this post was captured 2 weeks ago. 165lbs 5'8. I'm no longer obese, I haven't been for months now, but I'm still stared up and down from other strangers who are trying ascertain whether I pose a threat or not.

I'm walking forward and not acknowledging you and yet you're fiddling around with ur pockets or moving away from me. I could share more but people have a tendency to question what really happened in x experience, derailing the discussion entirely. I'm stuck in Vancouver for the foreseeable future and I'd appreciate it if you just answered the question.

I'm not interested in empty platitudes or comments unrelated to the topic at hand. "What can I change about my face to make the average vancouverite less scared of me". That's it. I'm not expecting anyone here to be an expert on anthropology but this is an (mostly, IDK ur OSINT but me personally idc anymore) anonymous forum. Say that I look tired and I'll look for surgeons who can handle complex eyelid surgeries. Id appreciate candidness. Random assortment of photos I found within the last year. I can't be half assed to remove identifying information anymore.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I need to wear glasses, and when I switched from square frames to round frames I swear people were less scared of me. Nobody wears glasses to a fight so you look less intimidating, and larger, rounder frames make your face look softer.

Wear slightly fancier clothes, I'm not saying wear a suit but buy some cheap button-down shirts, maybe tuck it in.

You seem focused on your face especially. Learn how to do makeup. I believe a little eyeliner can make you seem kinder. (I don't use makeup myself, so you'll have to find someone else to teach you / verify this.) Done properly, nobody will notice the makeup.

Voice and gait training might also help. I have a theatre background and I know that there are ways to look more intimidating without actually changing your appearance, so you could probably train yourself to do the opposite of that.

Temporary but very effective fix, look at your phone. I'm a big guy myself, and if I'm waiting for a bus in the middle of the night and there's someone else there who seems nervous, I'll just read (or pretend to read) something on my phone. Instantly reduces your threat profile to nothing.

[โ€“] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

Ha! I switched to perfectly round glasses for completely unrelated reasons and certain demographics who tended to be threatened by my complexion almost stopped entirely. That was a funny quirk of a minor style change.

But also I'm not a big dude. I just happen to fit a description.