Ask Lemmygrad

Serious response: It may not just be capitalism. Be very careful placing requirements for your happiness on external things as it will inevitably cause great unhappiness. Happiness needs to come from inside you to be sustainable (sometimes our brains need help because of genetic or environmental factors but, ultimately, getting a good balance of neurotransmitters is happening in your brain).

If you are miserable and hopeless all the time, regardless of things that should be joyous and beautiful, and experience things such as disinterest in activities that you enjoy and feel emotionally numb and/or all over the place, you may be experiencing a depressive disorder. If you have access, the assistance of a mental health professional may be able to help you through it so that you can keep fighting for a more equitable future.

Mental health is a serious matter and some disorders, like massive depressive disorder can be fatal. I know this from experience, having lost a parent to it and nearly losing both a spouse and sibling to it as well.

I don't care if I always agree with you or others on this instance on the "right" way to achieve a better world for everyone. You're a fellow traveler in life and deserve love and joy. Between this post and once of your recent ones, I'm honestly a bit worried about you. Please reach out if you need to talk or need help finding resources available to you. You're not alone. You've for friends, comrades, and internet strangers that give a shit.