So, my spouse and I have been separated for about 7 years. Before that we separated in summer of 2013, and again in 2015. We live apart, obviously, and date other people. It’s really difficult for strangers to accept. For example, when I’m seen out in public with a male friend, people try to call me a cheater. No, I’m not. My spouse and I are separated. He told me in 2015 that he wished he could have a mail order wife from Eastern Europe, or Russia. I get it. I’m not what he wants. I actually prefer being alone, but sometimes I enjoy spending time with someone else. I just wish society understood before launching an attack on my life. It is what it is. C’est la vie.
Society does not care. Get a divorce and move on.
When the other person refuses to attend the final judgement, each time, the judge throws out the whole case.
Are you in the US? Maybe get a different lawyer. https://www.quora.com/If-a-person-does-not-show-up-for-the-divorce-hearing-will-the-divorce-still-be-valid