this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 79 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I have a fairly functional form of autism, but I sometimes struggle finding balance in points of interest I get enthusiastic about, and nobody really matches my enthusiasm, even though they try. It often feels like rejection, but this post really puts it in perspective for me. I'm not always reasonable/flexible when I'm like that. Thanks for sharing.

(To give an example related to this post; I wouldn't assault someone for having a different opinion, but I could definitely debate them with a passion that's a little out of place and not as reasonable as I'd like to believe it is. "Building with concrete blocks? What is even wrong with you, where you never thought proper construction? What do you mean cheap building costs? People who want to build cheap buildings shouldn't be allowed to build anyway".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

What are you passionate about?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Your point about matching enthusiasm resonates with me. I am fortunate nowadays that many of my friends are neurodivergent, and we seem to enjoy each others' enthusiasm. We have some shared interests, but I think in a context where I can just listen and learn and not necessarily be expected to be a part of a "regular conversation" (i.e. when the primary mode of conversation is neurodivergent), I really enjoy listening to my friends nerd out about things outside of my own interest, as well as sometimes explaining my things to other people.

Outside of that framework though, before I had my current friends, I often felt like it was a smarter social strategy to just not talk about my interests at all because tempering my enthusiasm was difficult and seemed to never been enough.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

There's this interesting balance within my MTG group where some guys are happy to devote a fair part of their life to learning all the individual cards by heart. They can go on tangents that are just rows of card names describing a turn (think if the F6 to G8 takes rook babble of chess people). I can't be fucked, but I still love the hobby, so when we get together its trying to find the middle between all these levels of expertise that works. Overall that went well but there was one guy who flat out told me: "Maby if you would just dedicate a bigger part of your life to the game, we wouldn't have to bother talking around you so much." Yeah right. Not everyone makes their hobby into their profession.

That being said, its kinda heartbreaking so many people struggle with just letting their enthusiasm about a certain topic flow. If you'd rather not talk about something because you're afraid you can't reel it in, that sucks :(

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I think a lot of "bad faith trolls" are exactly this.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

What's a "good faith troll"?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What's bad faith trolling? I tried to google it, but struggle to understand

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Nice try 😉

No but look up "arguing in bad faith" and if that doesn't make sense let me know.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

if even after asking for an explanation your explanation is " try googling it" I'm going to assume you dont want to be understood.

If I'm trolling I'm definitely not doing it consciously. I know "I'm not a troll" is about the most suspicious thing on the internet, especially from a baby account, but sadly I cant be fucked to make a better point

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

A bad faith troll is a troll that makes arguments in bad faith. Read more about bad faith arguments here or you can search the web for "bad faith arguments."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Unfortunately for folks with genuine curiosity, feigning ignorance on information that is perceived to be commonly known or understood is a very common tactic of bad faith actors who attempt to slowly erode a discussion as part of trolling or manipulation. It has put a lot of folks off to the point where they would rather advise to look it up and disengage rather than take a chance it’s another game down the rabbit hole. Reading your dialogue as a third party it illuminates as such even if unintentionally so.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think I understand? Thanks for claring things up, and sorry if I accidentally distracted from the actual topic (although mentioning the bad faith trolling has probably done that more effectively... but whatever)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I want to add my hesitation came from it being hard to describe adequately and assuming someone else would do better.

Edit: and I never actually thought you specifically were trolling, I was just being cheeky

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

"Building with concrete blocks? What is even wrong with you, where you never thought proper construction? What do you mean cheap building costs? People who want to build cheap buildings shouldn't be allowed to build anyway".

The internet suddenly makes a bit more sense to me