this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2024
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If you don't have anyone, then look for hobby groups. There's groups out there for almost any hobby, so you can get to know people through that. Doesn't even have to be in person, if the thought of meeting new people irl triggers your anxiety. And if you're bad at talking to people then you need to practice, fail and learn from your mistakes.
If you have the desire to improve, you'll manage. Just take it slow and don't force yourself to get into very uncomfortable or new situations right away. Like, for example, big parties.
Over time, you'll get better at improvising during conversations and you'll get more confident. And if there's people who try to shit on you for trying your best, don't worry. They're actually a lot more insecure then you'll ever be at that point.
This advice only works for normal people. I've been going to the weightlifting gym and the bouldering gym at least twice a week for 3 years now, and I didn't meet anyone.
To be fair, I wouldn't necessarily consider the gym a place to meet people either. Most people there just do their thing and go home. 😅
If you really want to connect with people there you could ask someone to either spot you or ask them about something else related to the gym. Although I would consider that pretty advanced already. Sometimes a simple greeting whenever you're there or some small talk is enough practice for a while. Even if it's just the person at the reception or the person that you see there all the time. It helps.
Personally, I was forced to get good at talking to people through my job, but I used to get literal panic attacks before making phone calls. I still stutter from time to time, but only when I'm not focused (which is hard for me too lol). Also, therapy helps a lot for certain things, group therapy can be good too (also can be great for meeting new people).
I sometimes compare life in general to an Elder Scrolls game in my mind. You start out with shit stats, maybe some bonus stats. And then you have to work on each of those things to get them to a decent level so you can fend for yourself. If I achieve something difficult, I sometimes imagine myself leveling up. Sounds, pop-ups, the whole thing. 😁
Sorry for the wall of text btw, it happened so quickly lol.