this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
105 points (83.0% liked)
Technology
59223 readers
2807 users here now
This is a most excellent place for technology news and articles.
Our Rules
- Follow the lemmy.world rules.
- Only tech related content.
- Be excellent to each another!
- Mod approved content bots can post up to 10 articles per day.
- Threads asking for personal tech support may be deleted.
- Politics threads may be removed.
- No memes allowed as posts, OK to post as comments.
- Only approved bots from the list below, to ask if your bot can be added please contact us.
- Check for duplicates before posting, duplicates may be removed
Approved Bots
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Definitely agree with the article’s sentiment, but what else is there these days?
People are saying get hobbies... And yep.
I've been very "successful" on the dating apps, but they almost always resulted in a one night stand or a fling for a few weeks. You meet someone with the expectation of romance and you never form a friendship because you see eachother as romantic partners first. That may work for some people, but I see it as a loss of foundation. When I don't have a history with someone before being intimate, I tend to feel overwhelmed with the anxiety of expectations.
For me I found swing dancing was a great way to meet people. It's fun, there isn't necessarily an expectation of romance, but it also is a mood where romance can happen. I also thought to myself "I can either sit on my couch high AF while feeling like shit as I swipe left and right while trying to hold a virtual conversation that mostly goes nowhere, or I can go dancing. If I strike out on tinder, I feel like I wasted an evening. If I strike out dancing, fuck it I had a great time anyway!"
The last time I saw someone ask this question, the general response was to start participating in new hobbies and meeting people. Considering that our time is typically already packed full if you try and eat healthy, have a job, go to the gym, hang out with friends there isn’t a whole lot of extra time for new hobbies and activities. That response always felt so empty like if I had that much free time I would have already been doing something fun with it. Dating apps seem to me like the only option to date outside your existing social circle. It’s a sign of the times and our lack of time.
What if I already have hobbies? I'm not rich enough to stop working, my time is limited. Also what's the link between hobbies and dating?
"Want to meet people? Easy, just meet new people!"
Useless advice. Meeting new people outside of work or school is practically impossible. People giving this kind of advice never explain how to do it, because they don't know themselves.
Hot take: if you have so little free time that the best you can do is phone time, maybe you need to work on priorities or time management.
I get it. I also have shit time management and spend too much free time on my phone, when I could be replacing an hour spent on my phone with an hour at a nearby coffee shop reading a book, or participating in an hour social club once per week.