this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 77 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (4 children)

Drink some oil as well. Partially to displace the stomach acid, but also to allow for the kernels to pop.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Would you need oil with body fat rendering?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And shove a stick of dynamite up Your ass. Not necessarily before you die.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I heard something about pacemakers occasionally being left in bodies by mistake, and becoming small bombs in the crematorium ovens. That's gotta be a trip, the first time you hear that shit.

And then you probably have to get the oven inspected, to make sure the incident didn't damage the gas lines. And that probably costs at LEAST a few thousand dollars. And probably tens of thousands, if something does need to be fixed. So, like, I'm pretty sure the boss is only going to let one of those slide, maximum, before you're out on your ass.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Or take out each heart and yell Kalima! No way to miss the pacemaker this way I think.

/S

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Now you're thinkin'.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This thread has some of the best medical advice I’ve ever found on the interwebs

[–] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Am i percornate? How does girl become precornt?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Can have "insert-pickle" for taste will touch top od poplxorn kurnls?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

with poopcorns

[–] [email protected] 94 points 7 months ago (2 children)

And salt and butter. No one likes plain popcorn.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

...corpsecorn?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Also roll and eat an alloy wrap so you can take the rest home without it getting cold.