hyattpotter

1. If someone told you you're a lot like your partner, would this be a compliment to you?

2. Would you want your future or imagined child to date your partner?

3. Are you truly fulfilled or just less lonely?

4. Are you able to be unapologetically yourself or do you feel the need to show up differently to please your partner?

5. Are you in love with your partner right now as a whole, or are you only in love with their good side or with the potential or idea of them?

Man these are some hard-hitting questions which I feel may or may not apply to Asian-centric countries because we just have too many different social and cultural expectations and roles to fulfill. The above feels like it can only be a resounding yes if you are in an absolute perfect relationship, which feels like it's more the exception than the rule. What even is a perfect relationship nowadays anyway?

I think having some "no"s to the above doesn't absolutely mean your relationship or partner is no good though; although I am absolutely guilty of number 5. Don't date someone hoping they would change for you, bbs.

only for those who are single and looking for something long term

Frustrated with girls who flake and ghost even if you put a lot of effort, or even those who are just there for validation with no intentions to meet up? Trying to find someone who is actually on the apps for the right reasons? You are not alone, it happens even to the most attractive of guys. Good news? There is an effective way to weed out a huge number of them, albeit not totally. Here is what worked for me:

1. First of course start with a good opener, don’t try too hard but don’t give a basic ‘hi’ either

2. Keep the convo length from 10 messages from your end, don’t try to text all week like how many do, keep it interesting

3. Within those 10 messages, ask what their intentions are on the apps. When you hear stuff like “I don’t know see how it goes” or “just bored”… Yeah a high chance the person isn’t there for anything serious. Make sure you guys are on the same page, because women who are actually there for the right reasons want someone who is upfront about what they want from the apps

4. When the vibe is right, straight up ask for a phonecall, if she doesn’t feel comfortable doing it, then substitute by asking for her phone number (girls who are truly into you will give you their phone number) and continue from there

5. Once the call is great, then ask for a meetup

Why I say keep it short and ask for a call? Because girls who are really into you won’t hesitate to call, and truth be told many people regardless of gender are just on the apps for validations or something not serious. But it isn’t impossible to find someone with the right things in mind, this is one of the tactics that has worked for me.

Taken from r/Malaysians, credits to u/TaylorFritz!

This question was asked to a group of nyets and it honestly bothers me how I couldn't say yes immediately for myself, haha (?).

1. Kali Kai (Curry Chicken)
   A love bite. Yeah I don't know why either.

2. Fah Sum (Flower Heart)
   Heart that strays.

3. Yat Geok Dap Liong Shvn (One Leg on Two Boats)
   Two-timer!

4. Bei Yan Fei (Let People Fly)
   Got dumped :(

5. Kam Kuai (Golden Tortoise)
   Basically a rich bachelor

6. Kam Yv Lou (Gold Fish Seller/Guy)
   A pedo, yes a pedo.

7. Siong Chong (Up Bed)
   Fuck. It means fuck.

Don't come at me I speak canto growing up but I am pretty banana coz I can't read or write chinese so could be wrong!

Heya, June here :) I'm triilingual and love fusion food. Work's been a snoozefest lately due to some complications that remains to be fixed, so I'm super bored. If anyone wants to chat or get to know each other, hit me up – I could really use some friendly company!

My interests? Oh, I'm all about video games, painting, movies or music – these keep my spirits high! To those who message me, sorry if I can't get back to everyone!

Don't just say hi, give me something to work with, and let's have a blast chatting!

Syke, no pics here! ;P (also not necessary just to be clear!)

This is just an example of what a personals ad could look like!

Format goes like this: [Age] [Gender]4[Gender] [area] - [a short description]

So a guy looking for a girl would look like this: 31 [M4F] KL

A girl looking for all genders would look like this: 33 [F4A] Ipoh

Also, this doesn't necessarily have to be romantic, it could be for people just looking for online friends/companions too!

Also, I would like to use this opportunity to put out feelers about events I've been thinking of having which is perfect for smaller communities like ours:

3 vs 3 Blind Dates!

Anyone interested can PM me to sign up (via anonymous forms, I won't even need to know your username), I only need to know your gender and sexual preferences.

Basically, three guys, three girls, public setting, getting to know each other. First and foremost, I actually see this more as a getting to know more people thing, so I'm still hesitant to call it a blind date tbh. I haven't really figured out the actual dynamics of it yet, but I feel like it has potential! Let me hear feedbacks if any, as well as safety precautions!

Back when I was still swiping, I seem to have more younger men swipe on me rather than older or even equal age. Is there a reason why? Boys who knows unker a little, do you think my personality may throw off older men?

Never really considered speed dating before, but MYR 135 sounds reasonable especially when parts of it goes to a worth cause!

*not sponsored ~~waiting one of yall to sponser unker~~

And to single nyets, are you in the "move-in together as soon as you can afford to" camp, or "delay it even when you already can coz reasons" camp?

Living habits play a huge role in cohabitating happily in the long term personally. Having fun and enjoying each other's company won't have much mileage if you can't stand each other's living habits!

For some, you may live together way longer than you'd be in love with each other even >.>

Sharing a home together also gives you an idea on how responsible, proactive, clean and how well they manage and balance chores, duties, and time together. In my (limited) experience, most people who has never lived on their own, generally do not take the initiative or have the know how to fix, improve and maintain a house. I suppose that's not important for some.. but for me who's always taken care of her own space and prioritises on efficiency, I have my way of doing things and living together first can help us optimise ourselves to each other, or it can also highlight just how incompatible we might be. If anything, I'd say this is just as important to a relationship as any, if not the most.

So, for you non-single nyets: any inputs? How soon did you guys move in?

Can't exactly showcase my personality at first sight now can I? T.T

ChatGPT: Here are some affordable indoor date (unker: yes I prompted indoors, outdoors only work if the weather is not hot, or if I can get away with wearing almost nothing, or you know, in a four season country) ideas in the Klang Valley area, all below MYR 100:

1. Have a movie night at home

unker: Mayyyyybe third date, but certainly not first! Also ChatGPT, you're way too loose as a woman if your first suggestion is Netflix & Chill!

2. Plan a DIY spa day: Create a spa-like ambiance at home with scented candles, relaxing music, and aromatic oils. Take turns giving each other massages, facial treatments, or foot soaks.

unker: This works if you live alone, but also scary if you do live alone.. and I will NOT let a man give me facial treatments (unless..)!!

3. Cook a romantic dinner together: Instead of going out, prepare a delicious meal together at home. Choose a recipe you both love and enjoy the process of cooking and sharing a homemade dinner.

unker: Actually this doesn't sound too bad! And also can observe working styles. Are you the clean-as-you-go type of person or the leave-the-mess-for-later type?

4. Have a themed game night: Pick a theme for your game night, whether it's classic board games, card games, or even video games. Prepare some snacks and beverages, and have fun competing or cooperating in various games.

unker: For the introvert, it's nice to have something else to focus on while spending time together so yeah this sounds great too, but why all also have to be in someone's house eh. Well actually can just go to a board game cafe. Recently found one near Sunway, where you just buy one drink and you can play all their games, no time limit!

5. Explore a local bookstore or library: Spend a cozy afternoon browsing through books together at a local bookstore or library. Share recommendations, read excerpts, or pick a book to read together.

unker: This actually sounds good too! Libraries especially (totally not because of AC). A book to read together? Bro that's actually pretty romantic suggestion. Okay A+ for this one ChatGPT.

6. Take a scenic walk in a park: Visit a nearby park or botanical garden and take a leisurely stroll together. Enjoy the fresh air, beautiful surroundings, and the chance to have meaningful conversations.

unker: Eh this one not indoors also. But evening walks in a dog park, that I can get into!

7. Have a picnic indoors: Create an indoor picnic by spreading a blanket on the floor and packing a basket with your favorite snacks, sandwiches, and fruits. Enjoy a cozy picnic right in your living room.

unker: Is it still special if that's already what I do on my own? I actually like sitting on floors at home, so I mean, I have the upperhand if anything, ha!

8. Plan a DIY craft or art session: Get creative together by working on a DIY craft project or painting. You can find affordable art supplies at local craft stores or repurpose items you already have at home.

unker: Easy to prepare and fun. Don't have to do this at your own home either, can find a pondok or a park or something even!

9. Attend a local community event: Keep an eye out for free or low-cost community events happening in your area, such as art exhibitions, cultural festivals, or live music performances.

unker: Screw dates, I wanna do this with friends too!

10. Have a karaoke night: Sing your hearts out with a fun karaoke session at home. Use a karaoke app or find karaoke videos on YouTube and enjoy a night of laughter and music.

unker: Uhh.. I can see this working if we are both musically inclined, and one of us plays a musical instrument and we play that instead.

5/10 for me, that's not too shabby actually!

My order from favourite to least favourite:

1. Library Date
2. Cook romantic dinner together (I make a mean mushroom soup, lasagna and brownies, toot toot!)
3. Evening walks in a dog park
4. Themed Game Nights
5. Local community events

The other 5: meh.

ChatGPT aside, the standard dinner dates + gelato isn't too bad for unker either although it can get stale sometimes. I still prefer first dates in public or where we don't need to take the same car (for safety purposes) though.

What's your usual go to casual date ideas with the least advanced planning needed (like needing to get art supplies first, although I suppose that can also be a part of the date too!), if any?