Another user mentioned his town have monuments built in 80s. I believe a number of them built monuments just because there is a consensus that you have to do it. It became like an unwritten law (I think it's actually a law). You have to build monuments, you have to keep remembering, you can't question it. If you do you are a traitor and deserve consequences. The usual issue with patriotism of any kind. If you are not with us, you are with them.
And yes, the specific things that need to be remembered and all the rest that can be forgotten. It is the base of my problem with the memorials. "Remember this, don't mind the rest" Police, doctors, every day people who give their lives for something don't get monuments and the rules that defines what does troubles me.
Sorry, you wrote a lot and I feel disrespectful not to answer, but you are really seeing this in a very emotional and deep manner. It would end up being just a fight. I am not trying to offend you and what you consider important. You just have to understand that others might not find it as important for various reasons.
There would be much I could talk about, but better not to let this get emotional. I am just looking for a place, not trying to change how anyone sees the issue.