overview for Yor

then to ask simply, how do you want people to refer to you when talking to you online? whether you include a pronoun tag or not, people are going to refer to you

New rule: if you support transgender people or are trans, please change your username (if your instance allows it) to include your preferred pronouns in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (3 children)

fair enough, also .ml isn't my instance so I don't wanna be too pushy on whether options like friend or comrade are preferred here. @[email protected] might be better to weigh in specifics like that

tho I do wanna go back to this real quick

I go by she/her, but I don't want to advertise this. I have my own struggles with gender, even if I'm ultimately cis, and forcing me to report my gender in my username seems frankly gender essentialist.

pronouns, in this case, are really just used to know how to refer to you. if I were referring to you without seeing your above comments I'd probably avoid pronouns (none/use name). other people who are mindful of this would end up doing the same or maybe using they/them to be safe. in person, it sounds like you don't have the issue of needing to provide pronouns (with many complicated feelings on that). in the same way that you say the trans community sees you as a person and not simply your assigned gender at birth, this isn't a request to box you in or anything like that. this community isn't binary focused or gender essentialist. it's just how would you like us to talk about you? if that's something you're not sure on, maybe a label like (it's complicated) or something acknowledging it's a complex topic for you. it doesn't have to mean you're not cis to feel weird about the weight of the expected gender binary in society. that can hurt trans and cis people alike