Xea

Im really sorry for spamming this wonderful community, Please don’t be mad at me for wasting space in your thread 🥺

I just wanted to make people aware that I created a Harmreduction community on this instance([email protected]) because I really think its something we need here, many queer people are turning to drugs, personally, I know more friends who are on “hard drugs” than are not, so I wanted to make a space on this instance for people to safely talk about harmreduction, reddit can be quite toxic and I feel the atmosphere here might be alot better and the people giving advice might be alot more informed already.

If you feel you can advice people, need advice or just occasionally enduldge, please join!

Also I am always there for anybody who needs advice, I am an intravenous polydrug user, amateur chemist, know a decent bit about injecting hormones right and even though I have puppy eyes, I don’t bite :)

Lots of love!, Xea

Im really sorry for spamming this wonderful community, Please don't be mad at me for wasting space in your thread 🥺

I just wanted to make people aware that I created a Harmreduction community on this instance([email protected]) because I really think its something we need here, many trans people are turning to drugs, personally, I know more friends who are on "hard drugs" than are not, so I wanted to make a space on this instance for people to safely talk about harmreduction, reddit can be quite toxic and I feel the atmosphere here might be alot better and the people giving advice might be alot more informed already.

If you feel you can advice people, need advice or just occasionally enduldge, please join!

Also I am always there for anybody who needs advice, I am an intravenous polydrug user, amateur chemist, know a decent bit about injecting hormones right and even though I have puppy eyes, I don't bite :)

Lots of love!, Xea

Hyia sorry for this being very ranty, this is something I have only talked about with a choosen few people but I thought I might aswell just be open here and see what people have to say.

Please have understanding for my previously held believes, I don't agree with any of it anymore and wish I had never had them.

I am Xea, 19yo transwoman(1 year HRT) and a diagnosed autist. I am very proud and ever more confident about my identity but it took alot of work to get here.

When I was 15 I was being bullied by most people in my class, another class and several teachers, I did not function in school as I have severe sensory issues which make me shutdown when there is too much noise to process, this made me grow very resentful and when I was introduced to conservative ideologue content on youtube I ate it all up, first I became moderately conservative, laughing at the "insanity" of the modern left, than I became a stounch conservative, I became hateful towards the migrants who had made me feel uncomfortable in my school and environment and leftist ideas being taught at my school, like... tolerance, I believed transpeople are just a silly leftist invention and (what hurts me most in retrospect) atleast famous trans people I would missgender on purpose.

I started to believe that this system is broken and that violence was the only way to right it.

Later on I started getting more influenced by libertarian politics and notions of personal liberty which ultimately somewhat deradicalized me but I remained somewhat right wing.

Something had been growing while I was developing these believes though, I was hyper sexual and my sexuality was not straight, maybe slighly gay, but mainly I wanted to be the other sex, I hated myself for it, I would be dead ashamed every time I enjoyed it, I would throw away the toys I had bought, hurt myself and people who found out.

when I was 17 this odd desire became more though, it was no longer just about sexuality it was calling... screaming at me that everything was wrong and that I had to get out.

So I left school and spend alot of time alone introflecting, when I started to experience hair loss it was basically my tipping point, if I didn't do anything now, I would never be able to be who I wanted to be, so I bought a vial of estradiol cypionate and some dutasteride tablets and I turned the hateful ugly boy into a pretty woman.

It was hard to explain to my family how this happened and I never dared to meet my old friends again.

Thank you for reading! <3

I love having sensory issues