Rootiest

I changed my alarm sound to the Sonic running out of time sound and that gets me up every time in a panic

Sleep as Android has this along with a ton of other wake up helpers like QRcode/NFC tag scanning to stop the alarm, math problems, etc.

I found the math worked well at first but I apparently got too good at solving them in my sleep.

I put an NFC tag in the bathroom which requires me to get out of bed and go into the bathroom to stop the alarm. That's usually enough to get me to stay up

They also have various CAPTCHA tests, one that requires you to hold your phone and spin around, one that requires you to put the phone up to a light source, and other such things. I'm sure you can find an effective solution that works for you

But how many have won against an opponent with no king?

Always use protection

If you guess correctly, you get to be the gollum whom is immune to having a finger up their ass.

Wait..

I was following up until this point.

I thought the point of being the gollum was you get to put your finger in someone's ass, not that you don't get to have one in yours