Asklemmy

at some point, you gotta throw in the towel and let her use one password for everything. not ideal at all, sure, but it's not the end of the world as long as it's complex enough.

or get her a notebook, or a note-taking app, and jot down all the passwords for every account (not the generated ones from the password manager; too complex).

if your issues are more of the "help me, now!!" variety and you want to keep her off your back, tell her that you're busy and can help in ten minutes or an hour or at some scheduled time. if her stuff is urgent, too bad, your work is too. show her that you're not at her beck and call, and then help her at that scheduled time; you'd be surprised at how fast the problems reside.

Apologies if it's been mentioned already, but since most sites require access to the account email to reset the password, could you set up a filter in the email that forwards to you then deletes any email that has like "password reset" "account recovery" or other common variations in the subject?

Fuckin hell im thankful my parents are cool. I need to do something nice for them

I don't mean to be rude, but maybe stop forcing her to use a tool that you like but she doesn't. I'm tech savvy but I also think that password managers are a pain in the ass to use. Just let her choose a password of her choice for every service, give her a little paper notebook and let her note down all the passwords. Tell her to make them long and secure and different for every service. Tell her to store the notebook in a safe place. Done.

Give her a notebook

Tell her you'll fix it if she gives you power of attorney.

No, I'm not joking.

If you are having to spend 8 hours to figure out how to help her manage her basic affairs, if you are constantly teaching her how to use a password manager and she cannot figure it out, she has diminished cognitive capacity.

If she has already delegated you to be in charge of all her account logins, she's basically already given you de facto control over them, already acknowledged she isn't capable of of managing her own affairs.

Gather a bunch of other evidence that she has trouble with basic tasks, can't reliably perform basic household activities, manage finances, whatever, approach a lawyer and get the power of attorney document(s) drawn up.

EDIT: // Holy shit, just saw your other comment:

Well I also cook everything, grocery shop and fix everything (basic electrical, plumbing, woodworking, installations, etc).

Yeah, you are already functionally her caretaker.

Depending on the state you're in (assuming you are in the US) you might be able to actually get yourself certified as her caretaker without much or any actual input from her, before you pursue power of attorney. //

This solves the cut out problem.

...

After that, explain your solution:

Print out a big list of all those passwords and logins for her.

Meanwhile, you've got them all as well, presumably you can just use her password manager and have access to it.

If she resets a password and can't figure out how to log back in, fix it back to something you know, but don't let her use this account for one week.

After a week, print out a new list for her with the new password you've set.

If she resets another password while in a 7 day timeout period, well now it'll be two weeks for both passwords to become available to her, etc.

This may sound like too much, but she's a cognitively diminished entitled brat, who has already conditioned you into being a doormat who is expected to waste a seemingly endless amount of time and effort to solve problems she creates, problems that people without a live-in technical support agent pay hundreds of dollars to solve.

She will not learn if she has no impetus to. She's obviously used the 'tough love' model on you, use it back on her.

If she complains about this, doesn't matter, you have power of attorney, send her to an old folks home, sell the house and move to an apartment, or rent a room out if it or something.

Part of the problem is a lot of programs that people who understand tech think is simple or obvious is actually stupidly wrote and confusing and illogically set up.

Older people rely on logic. And most interfaces are the opposite of logical.

Younger people have this idea of "press a bunch of buttons and once you see how it works, then memorize the steps ".

I'm going to guess that she has said something to the effect of "why is this so complicated"?

The only issue I take is that she won't keep track of the new password that she creates. That to me is laziness.

You can use Bitwarden as the native password manager on an iPhone. And that can sync to the desktop version. I have all my passwords in one place. And on the iPhone since it’s the system password manager it works with apps too.

Alternatively, get her a small notebook, write things down and tell her to use that.

Maybe just tell your mom that since she had changed her password, there is a 30 minutes delay before she can login.

Maybe if there are consequences things will change?

I use vaultwarden, and I stumbled upon the generated password history. It's awesome.