science

I've experienced a man in my life being really fucking salty and super dickish about my successful career. It isn't a husband or SO, but my stepfather. The man who, until recently, has been a great father figure.

I can't talk about work around him without his mood immediately souring. Idk if he's jealous that I have some disposable income and that I am making a little less than he is and I'm only 3 years into my career as opposed to his 25, but it's really discouraging.

Finances are very tight for him and my mother and it's almost entirely his fault because he is terrible with money. It's really sad to see him act this way. According to my mom, he has bitched to my grandma (his mom) about me taking up horseback riding and doing things with my new friends because it can be expensive. My grandma yelled at him over it and said that me doing new things and socializing is very good and she supports it. Idk why he thinks my finances are his business either. Ugh. The man is so frustrating.

Sorry for ranting. Guess I really needed to get all that out lol.

This is really sad, tbh.

I personally would be freaking stoked. Would love to be a stay at home hubs, too.

Why is there an increase in mental health diagnoses recently?

Looks around at the state of the world. Tyranny on the rise; human right being violated across the globe; climate crisis set to boil humanity alive; tech companies funding dictators.

My hypothesis is that it is the fault of women.

Remember, this is diagnoses. My guess is that its a "owning a horse make you healthier" thing again.

This has to depend on the guy. My ex, he always made less $ than me because I went to college after having kids and got a better job, then asked him if he wanted to do the same he said no, and we made enough as long as we both worked, it wasn't anything we really thought about, only about hours worked by each of us. Now when he was unemployed it all went to hell, but not as long as he worked at all. I valued his work, not the wage.

My husband, he wants to make more than me but sees it as a challenge, he wants me to make more money, because it would motivate him to make more money, he just wants us to have more money. He is very happy for me to succeed, and I'm valued for contributions at home and making money, and (critically important) he does as much as me around the house, and our busy work seasons aren't at the same time so we are able to support each other during those months. I do think it's a sexist thing (he does too but still feels it) but don't actually care, it works fine for us in practice.

Men that are upset that their wives out-earn them are missing the point of marriage. The point of marriage isn't him vs her, its the two of you together against the world. If she is earning more than him, then that benefits him too because he's part of the marriage.

I'm constantly astonished when I hear of men that are upset by their wives out-earning them. Some of these men have even sabotaged their wife's work or changed the circumstances at home preventing her from continuing in the job where she out-earns him. My only hope for these women is they realize their husband's love is conditional on him being dominant over her, and that she seeks out a better future where she can be her best self.

i want my wife to earn more than me; she sure deserves it. she has a higher education and a job that actually matters to humanity. i have a desk job that makes computers go beep. its absurd how low her pay is :(

Specifically on women's mental health deteriorating in this situation, often this can occur when she's still expected to pick up the majority (or all) of domestic labor in addition to her well-paying job. Women are still largely expected to "do it all" by not only their partners but by society. If you're not a perfect businesswoman, mother, and domestic servant all in one all the time, well you're failing your spouse, your children, your boss, your identity as a woman, etc. Women don't just need their male partners to step up for them in labor alone, but also to reevaluate their social role that they are propagating through their (in)actions. What are you teaching your kid if mom is the only one who cooks dinner? Or cleans regularly without reminders? Or keeps track of doctor's visits, field trips, etc?

Men who are uncomfortable with their wives earning more money are also probably more prone to feeling some stigma around addressing their own mental health issues