I'm worried about what will happen after I get out of college. I have very few friends even here but I'm quite close with them. I worry when our careers start we will become very separate over time.
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2024
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Interesting topic. I've always wanted to do some party work regarding this phenomenon but I haven't yet figured out what. I've always had trouble connecting to other men specifically, mainly because of toxic masculinity I guess, which I feel like must be a big part of the problem here.
A big part of the problem is that alienation is at the core of a capitalist society. Capitalism actively discourages people from simply handing out together, and enjoying life. You're always supposed to be hustling or consuming, all your relationships have to be transactional, and so on. So, toxicity kind of just falls out from people growing up in this fucked up dehumanizing system.
I think creating events where people can just hang out and chat with each other could be a good start. It doesn't have to be about anything in particular. Just sort of meet the neighbours or meet the community type thing. People need a bit of help in order to start being better to each other.
Also, there’s an ideal of having “freedom/control” over your time. Along with misaligned schedules from constantly working, the idea of being able to do whatever you want in your free time further messes with people’s ability to form relationships.
For sure, there's an incredible amount of focus on individualism in western societies and this world view is inherently alienating because it effectively normalizes egoism.
Who would've thought that radical individualism would lead to loneliness.
Friendship recession
I hate the casual attempt to make people think in capitalist economic terms about literally everything so fucking much. My roommate is like this, she uses the word "profit" to refer to any good thing whatsoever, including nice social interactions. The language of The Market has been screwed into her personality like a bone graft, it's disgusting.
or when they start saying "productive" when having a good social interaction or something.
just another reminder of how pervasive capitalist propaganda is in the fabric of western society
Sadly, this is also happening in latin american countries. In plenty of countries within Latin America, we followed the US foot steps and built in a way that alienates way too much people.
Lack of public "third places", car-centric infrastructure and lack of mixed-use zoning, lack of communal living, etc.
"Why are men so lonely?"
I haven't had a friend in 20 years. All of my male acquaintances are due to my kids' activities or my wife's friend's husbands. I have social anxiety so I don't make much of an effort with people. I also work from home so I don't even have co-workers to get to know. I am somewhat of a modern hermit.
Less than 20 years and no kids for me, but otherwise yeah same here mostly.