This is called an avoidant attachment system and it's not rosy like the comic wants to suggest.
this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2024
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I feel called out on this one :D For years we were like "Marry and have kids? No way, we're way too irresponsible ourselves!" After 14 years we thought we might as well marry. And now it's been (counts on fingers) 27 years, and we have three wonderful kids and couldn't imagine any other life!
A lot of psychoanalysts in the comments who can't seem to identify that this is just a joke, the last panel being the punchline
What's the punchline? The guy was zoned out on the computer the last 25 years and wasn't aware of any relationship whatsoever? I still kinda don't get it.
It's observational humor about how some people are so afraid of committed relationships that they have to slowly work they way into it. Which is funny to watch from the outside, since it's clear to everyone else what is going on. Obviously if you haven't made such experience yourself or observed situations like that, that joke wont work for you.
They've spent 25 years not acknowledging the relationship so it's a surprise to one when the other does. At least that's how I'm interpreting it.
I don't get it either. Is this supposed to be cute? She seems like the worst and him, the enabler.
The way I interpreted it, they’re both happy in the relationship, but both are telling eachother (but really themselves) that they aren’t going to commit, because they’re both afraid of becoming invested and subsequently hurt when it doesn’t pan out (likely due to bad past experiences). But they both act like this because they’re afraid of the other abandoning them. Eventually they’re together long enough that it has since become clear that neither of them are leaving and they’re both happy, so the last panel is them finally addressing that fact.
It’s a joke because 25 years is an absurd amount of time to come to that realization. In reality this couple would have figured this out after a few years. It’s exaggeration.
It’s “cute” because they’re both good, loyal people who love each other, but they were both on the defensive for a long time, which is an immature “toxic” behavior, but because they were both on the exact same page, they have grown out of that toxic behavior together.
The guy does kinda comes across like maybe he’s not sharing the same behavior because he’s a bit more nonchalant about it, but I think that’s the general idea.
I can't argue with that.
Calm down Freud, it's just a gentle comic!
This is cute. Reminds me of my wife and I. We weren't even close to this in denial, though. 😏
Unhealthy fear of committment
They are acknowledging the inherent mortality of relationships, and they seem to be doing fine together.
There is always the possibility of shooting yourself in the foot and being too scared of the relationship ending and screwing it up that way, but there's also the possibility of it ending because you ignored the risks and warning signs.
It's about striking a balance, and that balance is gonna be different for each relationship.
Their relationship seems healthy enough, doesn't it? They enjoy each others company, and they treat each other well. So is this unhealthy fear of commitment? Or is it explicit acceptance of uncertainty?
I'm mostly imagining what my reaction would be if one of my friends described a relationship by saying that if it isn't fun anymore they're done, but they're also thinking of moving in together. Major red flags.
Uncertainty is a huge part of life, but a large part of a relationship is being someone else's certainty. No matter what happens, you're there for them, through everything.
The relationship in the comic is cute because they made it, but I wouldn't hold it up as exemplary or healthy. Most people who treat relationships this way don't have relationships that last. They end up out their security deposit for breaking a lease on an apartment after a surprisingly nasty breakup.
I’m mostly imagining what my reaction would be if one of my friends described a relationship by saying that if it isn’t fun anymore they’re done, but they’re also thinking of moving in together. Major red flags.
I think that mischaracterises what is going on here. The characters in the comic aren't describing a relationship to a third party. They are talking openly and honestly about their feelings to each other.
You're talking about relationships not lasting, and being unhealthy, etc. - but there are multiple people in this thread who have publicly said that this comic reflects their own long-term ongoing relationship. I think it's important to understand that different people communicate their feelings differently. To you maybe telling to your partner that you can't promise to love them forever a red flag; - whereas to me, telling someone that you will love them forever unconditionally is a red-flag, because life isn't really like that. I don't want platitudes or empty promises.
I agree that it's bit sketchy to say to your partner "if it isn't fun, them I'm off"; ('fun', I think, is a bad word to use.) But on the other hand, the two characters in the comic agreed at the start that they weren't even looking for a long term relationship. So they are on common ground. They aren't just pulling out a bombshell from nowhere; but rather they are acknowledging their current and changing feelings. So in their relationship it can make sense to say something like that.
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