Linux

You got a lot of distro recommendations from across the spectrum and it's honestly hard to go wrong with any of them. It's mostly a matter of preference. As such I'll give you two pieces of advice:

1. Set up a multi-boot flash drive (assuming you're currently using Windows, YUMI is a great utility) so that your can try a bunch of them and see what jives with you most. A great feature of Linux installers is that you can actually run the entire OS, full-featured, from the ISO. So grab a whole slew of them, throw them on the flash drive, and spend some time taking them for a spin.
2. Do your research on compatibility. Laptop makers often don't make Linux drivers, so the latest hardware has compatibility problems until the community covers the gap. There are also some laptop manufacturers that have Linux in mind when they make their products, like System 76 and Framework.

Good luck! IMO getting into Linux for the first time is a fun journey. Enjoy it!

When first coming from Windows, starting with Mint is the safest bet for a good transition because things will work pretty much as you expect them to, and there's a very helpful forum if you have any questions. But I always say to try several distros and Desktop Environments to see how you like them. Everyone is different and it's all a matter of preference.

I suggest that once you've got whatever distro you decided on up and running, install a virtual machine software such as Boxes (very simple) or Virtual Box (a little more complicated but with more options). Then just download various distros and make VMs for them to try them out easily. Have fun!

I always recommend to beginners ElementaryOS. The name being coincidental. It is a relatively simple looking but very very elegant and polished interface. Give it a try.

I've got one friend who uses mint, but I've also seen memes dunking on it so who knows. I actually really only know what I've seen from you all shitposting in other communities

Every distro gets shit on in memes, because each distro does things its own way that some don't agree with. As a new user, most of that doesn't matter much, the biggest changes between distros are how stuff works in the background. What matters more is your choice of Desktop Environment (DE). Essentially "the coat of paint on top". Most distros offer a couple different options when downloading the ISO, or when installing it.

I'd reccomend starting out by trying GNOME and KDE Plasma (if they're easily available for your distro), with GNOME being slightly more macOS-like, and KDE being somewhat similar in feel to Windows. Those are "the big two" DEs, but there's plenty of other options available if you don't like them.

As for distros, whatever works for you is the option you should go with. There's only two distros I recommend against using, Ubuntu (/ close derivatives) and Manjaro. Ubuntu is becoming extremely corporate, going against the "spirit" of a Linux distro. There's "Ubuntu Pro", a subscription for security updates, and "snap", an "alternative to" flatpak that forces you on Ubuntu managed repositories, along with many other issues. Manjaro is often marketed as "an easy Arch-based distro", but is in fact only very loosely derived from Arch. This combined with Manjaro team's inability to maintain the distro properly, causes nothing but issues.

As for every other distro, if it's being updated, and it works for you, then it's a great option. Because that second one is very personal, there is no "single best Linux distro". I would personally suggest to check out Mint and Fedora, those are often great options.

As someone else mentioned, with a "new laptop", hardware compatibility may be an issue. Most distros allow you to try them off the USB before installing, that's probably a good idea.

Ubuntu. There are mixes of it but out of the box Ubuntu is about as straightforward a dist to install as possible and it is well supported.

That said "new laptop" and Linux are not always a match made in heaven. You might try it from a boot stick and confirm that things like the GPU, touch screen, touchpad, fingerprint reader, USB C / Lightning all work properly.

Go ahead with mint. It's the only distro I know with a fully featured setup wizard that holds your hand through the entire process. I am confident anyone who has used computers can use it.

But honestly, most modern distros are about as difficult as picking up an iOS/android phone for the first time. There are different ways of doing things, but they're still phones and can't be too different anyway. Same with mint, it's just a computer, it isn't all that different.

Fedora KDE. It's easy to setup, modern, customizable and fast. Only issue is that it doesn't come with proprietary codecs, so that could be a problem. Second would be Mint, it's only flaws is that it ships an older kernel (might be a pain) and uses X11 (insecure).

Mint is one of the best bets for beginners, it's very similar to windows 10 UI wise by default and generally very user friendly

Go with Mint, it's my daily drive on both my laptop and HTPC. If you choose the regular edition Ubuntu based you have also hardware enablement (hwe) kernels which could be useful on newer hardware.

https://ultramarine-linux.org/ Linux ultramarine is based on very popular fedora distro. Let me quote some fedi post:

1. Just like Microsoft Windows, you do not need to configure your firmware, drivers, media codecs, and sources. That is already taken care of for you.

2. Just like Windows, you can have automatic update, update notifications, or choose not to update. By default, update notifications is the default, allowing you to choose when and what to update. And you can update with a click of a button (point and click), just like Microsoft Update.

3. Installing, updating, and removing apps through the app store is point and click easy.

4. Go ahead and download an RPM setup file, and double-click to install, just like you would a Windows setup file. Updating and removing that program, can also be done through the app store, which doubles as the app manager.

5. Point and click settings. No matter if you want to add users, manage a VPN, add a printer, etc.... etc... A simple-to-use control panel is what is offered.

6. Friendly support - Based on Fedora Linux, means you have 20+ years of documentation, live help, support forums, and chat groups, both from Fedora and Ultramarine. Source: https://kitty.social/notes/a12bji4hf8zb0332

Linux mint, Debian, Fedora

PopOS if you are into gaming

You can go with mint. It's a solid choice. I prefer opensuse tumbleweed since I find it easier to work with. It also has a great selection of desktop enviroments witch is the thing you interact with and what you use to manage your open programs. If you want something like modern windows you can go with KDE or cinnamon and if you want something more minimal and windoes XP like you can use xfce.

Generally I agree with everyone else, Linux Mint is great.

However, if you really want to not worry at all, you could just buy a laptop from e.g. Tuxedo or System76. They come with Linux preinstalled (I think in the case of Tuxedo at least, you even have a choice of which Linux Distro?), and are guaranteed to have no hardware "difficulties" with Linux, i.e. even if you put another distro on it, you won't encounter driver issues.

(Those have become very rare anyways, but do put a damper on the "Firsttime Linux Experience" if you do encounter them...)

ITT: 100 people naming their favourite distro and making that fit whatever OP needs.

HolyOS, Hannah Montana linux, AmongOS