this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] -2 points 16 hours ago

Pedo Wolverine

[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago

That's gonna be an awkward team scrum

[–] [email protected] 5 points 17 hours ago

Logan should've veen able to smell the hair.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 23 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

If it was the cheating case then don't you think he should have beheaded her too? She's equally responsible for such an act.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 16 hours ago

That's a bit too fair and progressive for a hothead like Logan

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Beast seems pretty chill for having recently been decapitated.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

He's a mutant. Maybe it grows back in a second.
Too bad there isn't some manual explaining all superpowers that will be shipped with you.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 23 hours ago

She seems more annoyed than shocked that Wolverine just killed Beast, which also means this happens quite frequently.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

"That all ya got, Bub?"

"Ah well, as my mother liked to always say, 'no use losing your head in tough situations'"

or

"To paraphrase the bard Shakespeare, 'To be or not to be, that is the -headed'" then wryly chuckles as his life fades

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Why doesn't she say, "it belongs to my teddy bear, look next to the bed!" This has got to be a parody of the cinema trope where characters choose not to give the easy explanation that would solve the problem instantly

[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

She secretly wanted Beast to die, the teddy bear was part of the set up.

It all started when she heard a Joe Rogan podcast that suggested that the anti-mutant government was only going after non-human-looking mutants and that they would bring down the price of eggs by purging them all.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 15 hours ago

Directed by Michael Bay

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This shit is exactly why I can't watch "romantic" comedies. Too many of them solely rely on stupid misunderstandings like that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago

Here's his chance to explain!

"Mary, wait!

Mary!

Mary!

Mary!

Mary!

Wait!"

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Not to mention that wolverines sense of smell would have immediately been able to tell the difference between a teddy bear hair and Beast's hair

[–] [email protected] 3 points 17 hours ago

Yep he would have been able to smell him outside the window watching too

[–] [email protected] 9 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Well plot twist: It was Beasts hair.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 21 hours ago

He had been having an affair with the teddy bear.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

IKR? But I mean the guy was outside watching them, forget the blue hair

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Was Beast watching them bone while pretending to read a book? Or is the sound of boning in the distance like white noise that helps him concentrate on what he's reading?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

I think he has enhanced hearing, so maybe he just got used to it in general?

[–] [email protected] 81 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Oh my god I'm an idiot, that's Beast. I thought Wolverine just decapitated Sonic for some reason.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

That's some fanfic I wanna read lol

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Based on the upvotes, it seems the internet (or this tiny corner of it anyway) thought you were onto something

[–] [email protected] 3 points 16 hours ago

I didn't confuse Beast with Sonic, but I updated because it's hilarious that someone else did.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago

I love your version of the X-Men and their crossovers more