Todays pupdate:
Someone did themselves a little mischief and has managed to tear out a toenail. I didn't even know this was possible.
We had just taken one of our other dogs to the vet because he's got heart failure going on and he was panting so we were worried (good news: turns out he's got a little time left yet). We literally just walked in the door from getting him back from the vet and found blood all over the floor and couch from this little stonker. So back in the car and off to the emergency vet where they had to sedate him and pull the nail out the rest of the way.
So now a week of "keeping him quiet" (right... a puppy quiet) and the nail will probably never go back cause it looks to have snapped off the... something... bone that the nail bed is in. Good times.