They put the "gentle" in gentleman
this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2024
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Please, I don’t accept hugs. I dont want kisses. Please, don’t touch me. There are plenty of other ways to show affection, I can do that, but please, do not touch me, I dont like it.
Is that for everyone or just people outside of your comfort group?
I ask because a stranger touching me is very likely to draw back a figurative nub, but I love touch from my people. I'm kinda anti-kiss post covid, but I'm a hugger still lol.
I feel you though, everyone gets to have boundaries, and it isn't a rejection of affection to prefer non touch methods of showing it.
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At risk of being a dork I’ll also compare this to Star Trek (largely because OP is a clear fan). Both series are really timeless and impactful imo because they portray people as almost supremely emotionally intelligent. Everyone is very professional when they be - capable of great emotional restraint, but also deeply empathetic and caring and ‘tender’ when the time is right.
I mean Gimli is supposed to be the “emotional hothead” of the Fellowship and he’s literally more chill and emotionally controlled than most of the people you run into working retail
That's why Star Trek is sometimes referred to as "competency porn."
As someone who spent time in the military, j know exactly what you mean.
I wish the people I worked with were 25% as competent, rational, and level headed as the crew of the Enterprise.
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Very apt. Funnily enough I’ve only heard the phrase applied to The X-Files
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There was a TV show called Moonhaven where men were a bit more like this. It was cancelled after 1 season, of course.
With a hobbit on the cast!
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Wait...you don't kiss your bro's forehead and hug!?
Yeah it's not cause youre naked together in the same bed that you can't kiss forheads and hug. It's not gay.
Like even if he put a finger in it's not even like that
I'll never forget the time I ran into an old friend of mine and I went to give him a hug and he awkwardly laughed and said uh, no, and shook my hand.
We're still very good friends and we send several texts to each other every week.
But it's a terrible feeling when you instinctively go to hug someone with zero sexual feelings and get instantly and reflexively rejected. I don't blame my friend. I blame our fucked up culture.
'Murica: where we love our guns more than we love our school children. Is it any wonder men can't hug here.
I don't know your friend, but I just don't like people touching me in general. I've had people get upset that I won't hug them, but my boundaries are valid and should be respected. Not everyone wants to hug.
I understand where you're coming from, and your boundaries should be respected. Which is why I did not make an issue out of it. Like I said, we're still very good friends. And when he waved me off I just laughed awkwardly back and went with it.
And...I know him really well. It isn't that he doesn't like being touched. He, like a lot of men in America, is super phobic about anything within 500 miles of "gay".
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My goddamn dad does this to me. Like I made a conscious decision years ago to give him hugs because I felt like it was bullshit to not show him affection. After a few years he started intercepting me and now forces the handshake.
He also became radically conservative in that time...
To be fair, you might be trying to fuck him. A handshake is safe.
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I agree with a lot of what you say, but your last line is ridiculous. Everyone in LotR was armed to the teeth, and that was no hindrance to expressing their feelings for one another.
Pretty sure the goodly people like humans, elves, dwarves, and Hobbits didn't mow down their own kids with crossbows on a regular basis like we do with our guns.
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Its not about the weapons it's about the weapon culture. In the LOTR they respected the weapons and their purpose, simple.
Thank you, very nicely put into context.
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