this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, she might "think" your a fatass if you order more, but I'm sure you aren't and don't look it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Always get a backup pizza. Order an extra to-go with your dine-in pizza so it seems like you have a plan with the second pizza. You can never have too much pizza.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Can confirm, pizza absolutely follows the N + 1 rule. And unlike other hobbies, no WAF.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

one time after a really bad breakup i went into a pizza place (thin crust, personal sized pizzas, "artisan" but local so not expensive) and kept ordering pizza after pizza. by the third one they seemed to think i was a food critic or something, brought a glass of wine to pair with it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Nah, they felt bad that you housed 3 pizzas by yourself and hoped some alcohol would cheer you up.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago

"fucking bitch" describes the greentext poster (assuming this is even real) not the girl.

[–] [email protected] 68 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's not the second pizza that is so bad, it's the fact that anon couldn't wait to get home before scoffing the second pizza that makes him a fat ass.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I'm in this comment and I don't like it

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm jiggeling from laughing at this

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Then maybe you should lay off the pizza. :)

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Your fat ass gives away the fact that you're a fat ass

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

"Do these pants make my butt look fat?" "No dude, your butt makes your butt look fat"

[–] [email protected] 107 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
  • Prevents OP from forgetting their backpack.

  • is a bitch

Hmmmmmmm…

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Eh, the style of 4chan is to go over the top. I would not look into that to much. Now as for overall culture of 4chan...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Blatant misogyny: used casually

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

To be fair, they're not particularly misogynistic. Jews, Aryans, gays, blacks, animals, Dems, Republicans - any group with a label is treated like trash on 4chan

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

They even treat themselves like trash much of the time. Just goes to show that 4chan is literal trash.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

If OP said "Bitch, I blah blah blah" then it could be argued that it's a figure of speech and not directed towards the waitress... but OP said "Fucking bitch" with no comma, so it's clearly directed at her.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I can't even fathom being able to eat that much in one sitting.

A large pizza is like two evening's food for me. I can't even manage half of one of the big Costco ones. Two slices and I'm done.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Really? I can eat a whole Costco pizza, and I have a normal BMI. I'm male and tall, so that helps.

A whole pepperoni from Costco is a bit under 4000 calories, which isn't quite 2x my daily recommended intake (something like 3000 calories). So I can do it, I'll just be a bit full and that's all I should be eating that day.

Regular large pizzas are a lot smaller than Costco pizzas. A large from Domino's is apparently ~2200, so two large Dominos pizzas are comparable to one Costco pizza (a little more, but not a ton more).

So I could do it if I was really hungry, but I usually only eat about 3-4 Costco slices (around 1000-1250 calories).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

As an above average American, I can. I have eaten an entire pizza and then gone back for seconds multiple times. You're supposed to not feel hungry after you eat, but I lack that crucial sense.

I don't do that anymore, but that's only because I remind myself that it's not normal to finish an entire large pizza in one sitting and I'm weird if I do it

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Your stomach stretches out after a long enough time of eating like this and you have to eat even more to feel full. Pair that with the availability of highly caloric foods designed to make you crave them and it's a recipe for disaster.

Watch some "my 600lb life" and it starts to make sense. It's a slow boil, to be sure, but I think it can happen to anyone that isn't paying attention, who uses food and that feeling of fullness to cope with whatever negative feelings they have. I like Sean of steel (former 600lber), he gives some really good context in his react vids on youtube.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

how? I can eat 7/8 slices at once then eat the 8th like 30m later

[–] [email protected] 111 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Thinks she's cute one second, calls her a bitch the next. His loneliness has nothing to do with pizza.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

No! It's the females' fault that men are feeling bad about themselves, didn't you know?

[–] [email protected] 132 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

qt cashier

Does this imply the existance of gtk cashiers?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

see, this is why i love lemmy

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Nowadays you're most likely to find an electron cashier than any other.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

That's why they are so bloated and slow

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Son, I am proud of you.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Speaking as someone who used to travel for work (different place every day, sometimes multiple), eating in your car is super depressing and uncomfortable. Why not go home and eat it?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

When home is more depressing

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

I would guess they wanted it hot, though I would have headed myself.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

When I used to go onsite, for me home was an hour to an hour and half each way, and most of my coworkers had a 45 mins drive home in traffic. I suspect that's why most do it. It's your only chance for solitude.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No, I mean that this person is clearly not at work and free to go wherever to eat their pizza. I know eating in a car is uncomfortable so I'm just scratching my head at why the 4chan OP would want to eat a whole pizza in there.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Ahh yeah I see what you mean. Good point, I also find it uncomfortable, but its at the cost of letting your food cool off

[–] [email protected] 83 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

His crippling meatball addiction. She can never know he fell off the wagon. I've seen it before. You think it's a safety food, the easy pick off the menu. Then you hear something messing with the trash cans late one night, go out to check, and there's your neighbor, in their underwear, six cans deep into a Chef Boyardee overload.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

"I could quit meatballs anytime I want to."

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