What is this thing?

God the memories. Lived in a house surrounded by banks of ivy and for whatever reason it attracted those things like none other (Giant House Spider).

The house at the time was also poorly insulated or sealed from outside. I'd find 1-2 every 2-3 days inside. They'd teleport across the house using the vent system too. One snuck inside my bath towel. I'd find them in the sink just chilling, they'd crawl across the bed sometimes, ugh.

Look, I know they're harmless (to humans) and I know I'm being dumb, but spiders for some reason immediately cause a fight or flight response in me. Like, there were nights I'd see one and then I'd be unable to sleep the rest of the night and I'd have to keep the lights on just in case. My brain just absolutely breaks down when spiders are involved, it's dumb, I know it, but I can't seem to stop it and those particular spiders are just so unbelievably large that it scared the shit out of me.

Roaches? Snakes? Ants? Beetles? Scorpions? Literally anything else? I don't care at all. Only spiders. No clue why.

Putain on a des truc comme ça en France . si je vois ça chez moi je vrille, quelle taille elle faisait? (les photos sont parfois trompeuse)

You're hurting his leg :( (Pretty sure it's a male Eratigena atrica)

Friendly spiderbro, very common.

Yup, that's a giant house spider. No kidding, that's the vernacular name of the species, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider. Formerly filed under the tegenaria genus, now its own genus.

They're comically large and terror-inducing, but not aggressive. And they keep out more aggressive species too.

This spider is known as not my problem, I am not in France.

If it's big and in a rural French house, it's very likely a Tégénaire : https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tegenaria_domestica

We don't have many dangerous or even biting species of spiders.

Could you nsfw this? Not keen on seeing giant spiders randomly pop up on my feed

Hard to tell from the photo but maybe:

• Nursery Web Spider
• Giant House Spider
• Radiated Wolf Spider

My bet is on a giant house spider. They’re massive, fast, but harmless (and are actually great with dealing with pests - I leave them be in the home).

It might be a Tegenaria gigantea or some wolf variant such as the Hogna Radiata though it is really hard to tell from the pic.

Where do you live?

Very few spiders cover the whole world, but that looks close enough to a brown recluse that you should've killed it immediately if you're anywhere that could even potentially have them.

They're not normal spiders, if you get bit by one it will fuck you up bad. A bite could result in dead tissue almost a foot wide within days, and take months to heal even with medical treatment. They're not going to run at you and attack you, but you don't want these roaming around you house.

If the body has that light brown with dark brown in it, they get squashed. And not with a paper towel or tissue, take the time to go get a shoe or a hardcover book. It ain't worth the risk.

But again, they're pretty much only in a chunk of America that isn't really densely populated, so it really matters where you're at.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_recluse_spider

A big one. Once, I got surprised by a big one like that on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I freaked out and let it escape... under my bed... couldn't find it. I couldn't go back to sleep.

It looks to me like a wolf spider, but I am by no means an expert.

Trapped.