"Also, I want to fire them anytime I want."
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Personally I do it by stealing from my employer
Take stuff from work
It's the best way to feel better about your job
Never buy pens or pencils or paper
Take 'em from work
Rubber bands, paper clips, memo pads, folders
Take 'em from work
It's the best way to feel better about your low pay and appalling working conditions
Take an ashtray - they got plenty
Take coat hangers
Take a… take a trash can
Why buy a file cabinet? Why buy a phone? Why buy a personal computer or word processor?
Take 'em from work
I took a whole desk from the last place I worked; they never noticed and it looks great in my apartment
Take an electric pencil sharpener
Take a case of white-out; you might need it one day
Take stuff from work
It's your duty as an oppressed worker to steal from your exploiters
It's gonna be an outstanding day
Take stuff from work, and goof off on the company time
I wrote this at work; they're paying me to write about stuff I steal from them
Life is good
Even at a relatively small employee-owned company of several hundred people, the ability of most employees (except a few super-stars) to affect the value of their shares would be effectively negligible. Raises based on personal performance work a lot better as motivation, and professional pride is good too.
The ownership isn't just about affecting the price of the shares. It's about having a say in how the company is run, how your work is done, what projects company works on, and so on. It's about having a democratically run workplace that serves the interests of people doing the actual work at the company.
They might throw you a few RSU scraps if your skill set is in-demand enough. Maybe enough to convince yourself that you’re in that one big club that you ain’t in.
there are new "how to leadership" fads sharted out every year, complete with books, seminars, retreats, and on and on that CEOs gobble up like hogs at the trough, for which TL;DR of ALL of them is "how to get your serfs to do more work without paying them more"
so far i haven't heard of one that actually works (lol)
Dunno. That's why they pay you the big bucks.
Wait, that IS why they pay you that much, right?