Autism

Edit from future me: This got long quick, but I assure you this is info that could be valuable to you!

Hey OP, good work trying to learn more about yourself and sharing it amongst others instead of creating your own echo chamber.

I'm in my 30s and autistic. I had a very similar experience to you in HS especially, and the military after that.

My nephew lives with me because I'm the only one in the family that "gets him"--most of the others in the family think he's a narcissist. He's not, and I don't think you are either. When this came up in the family, I did what autistic people do and deep-dove this. Here's my thoughts in no particular order:

• as a rule of thumb, if you're considering if you're a narcissist, you're likely not. Narcissists will often know they're being shitty to people, but either won't care or will barely care, and squash it down.

• there are a couple "levels" of narcissism: having narcissistic traits is something common in most if not all people. They may not have all of them, and the motivation will be way different, but most people have at least a couple. The more severe/clinical level of narcissism is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it is extremely dangerous. NPD people are often violent when receiving criticism and/or when they lose control.

• Side note: you cannot even be diagnosed NPD until you are 18, and NPD is like a fork in the road: the longer you stay on the narcissist path, the more severe you get.

• Narcissism is a learned behavior and is treatable, if you choose. If you can get professional help that is of course best but there are self-guided resources to help learn healthier habits if professional help is not possible.

• I'm not sure how far you got in your studies, but there are 9 signs of a narcissist, and you described maybe 1.5 of them. I'm not sure if you didn't come across the others but here's a quality article about them: https://www.dukehealth.org/blog/9-signs-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder

Good on you for making it this far if you did. If you need anything about this, feel free to reach out. I am not a professional but psychology is my special interest and I can provide sources from actually qualified people for everything I say. I wish you luck in your endeavors!

The term narcissist is somewhat overused, though there are also a lot of them these days. To echo a bit of what others said, thinking average high schoolers are dumb is not a sign of narcissism. Average high schoolers are notoriously foolish. Even if you feel like it's more than that and it's a serious problem, that alone does not make a narcissist.

Actual narcissists are unstable. They need the adoration of others to feel good about themselves. They're prone to fits of rage when anything damages their ego, and they can take just about anything as criticism then decide to fly off the handle.

If that is you, get help from a professional who specializes in it. If anyone reading this knows a person like that, read up and find a way to save yourself.

I don't think you've got a good grasp on what narcissism is. There's the official diagnosis and the layperson definition and both require externalization. You can't just think you're better, you'd feel in your soul that you were better and would use and abuse those around you. Thinking people are worthless is another indicator that you aren't. If you were one, you'd see the value in those idiots because of how easy they are to exploit.

I'm not sure this is actually narcissism. I felt very similar throughout my teens, but it is something I grew out of in my early/mid 20s. I think there are a few reasons for this. Often, people just grow out of it, through brain development or just spending more time around other people. Empathy can also be intentionally strengthened like a muscle.

I studied psychology, neuroscience, philosophy, and logic to understand the general human mind. When you study a lot of things, you learn how little you know. You also get to see how much better other people are at certain things. I no longer assume I'm smarter than anyone else even if it's obvious in one particular subject or several subjects, because they are probably smarter than me in other ways.

I also saw a therapist and spent more time around other people. I made an effort to understand others' points of view, asking questions if needed, and really tried to imagine their life experiences and how they could come to feel or believe certain things. This will be an exercise at first but it eventually comes naturally for the most part.

I am not on the spectrum (I follow the community because I have 2 kids on the spectrum). I did, however, go to high school and also thought I was smarter than everyone else. I was probably smarter than some people. But as I've grown up, my perspective has shifted: (1) smarts are genetic, like being pretty, and both are like winning the genetic lottery. In contrast, people who work hard have earned it. (2) Being academically gifted does not always translate into success later in life. EQ, hard work and luck also play into it. Anywho, I thought I would pass that along because I'm not so sure you are a narcissist, but maybe just haven't had as much experience. Best of luck to you!

You are welcome, do not care about downvotes.