Asklemmy

Tablets. I've owned 2 so far, plus fucked around with a third, fancier one that was borrowed from someone else (in case you care: a very old Samsung one, a Xiaomi model from the late 2010s, and a new-ish Apple iPad for the borrowed one).

They suck as smartphone replacements because they are too big.

They lack button inputs, so they suck as gaming devices or as computer replacements.

You can browse the web... But if you decide to type anything, the large size plus the touchscreen keyboard make for an awkward experience (in ways that it's not on a smaller phone)

They have lit screens, so they suck as eReaders.

They're sorta okay as like, personal screens for watching movies or whatever, but like, at that point just use a television??

They can make sorta good drawing tablets, the ones that are pen-compatible I mean... Because I mean, yeah. But the lack of a keyboard is a bummer with how I learned to draw with my other hand on Ctrl+Z, though that's more a muscle memory issue than anything.

In general, every tablet I used felt like a less-good verion of a dozen other devices, yanno?

Amazon Fire Tablet 7in. I bought it literally just to read PDFs, and it was so slow that it was basically unusable. I tried switching out the launcher to something more minimal (Niagara launcher I think), and I figured out how to disable the ads that were all over the place. It helped a bit, but not enough to overcome the hardware and Fire OS. (I think I needed ADB for both of those fixes; I had to put in some real work to unfuck that tablet.) Plus the screen was too small for my pathetic human eyeballs.

Was it worth $30? At the time, yeah, because I literally couldn't afford anything else, but I now have an $80 10in generic Android tablet that's wildly faster.

This stogie sized covert camera. The photos looked like a screenshot of the game snake.

The Asus Transformer Prime.

It was an Android tablet circa 2011, right at that time they were actually making 10" Android tablets. I bought one as soon as Android Honeycomb launched which had an improved UI and lot of new tablet focused features. I bought the optional keyboard/battery attachment and planned for it to be my tiny laptop replacement that could also play emulators and be used for reading comics. I wanted to like it so bad.

It never really panned out though, a large majority of which was because of the faulty Nvidia Tegra 3 chip. Awful performance issues, terrible wireless connectivity, overheating, battery drain and nonexistant software updates from Asus. I ran custom ROMs trying to squeeze it as much as I could but that meant I was constantly tinkering with it and having yet more problems. Eventually I even broke the screen (my fault) and painstakingly went through a whole botched screen replacement before finally deciding that it had been a huge waste of time and money and sent it to it's grave.

I went from a cheap mp3 player that I could just plug in to my computer and drag in music to an iPod which forced me to download the iTunes bloatware create an account and then took 100x longer to transfer music because of the pointless conversion each file had to undergo. This was my first and last experience with a personal Apple device. Ended up putting some old pop music onto it and giving it to my grandmother after 2 days. Uninstalled iTunes and went back to using my cheap mp3 player until I replaced it with a smartphone.

Coming in as a close second place, an all-in-one Sony Vaoi computer that cost a fortune and had shit performance. Took daily nags to Sony before they took it back and gave me a refund. I find that Sony's hit and miss though. My favourite smartphone (Xperia Play) was Sony, and I love my Sony Bluetooth earbuds. The Sony Smartwatch was shit.

Fuck the surface pro 3, you'll never get another cent from me Microsoft you fucking cunts! ( Except for halo mcc and infinite BUT NO MORE (unless the next halo is actually good but even the ONLY ON SALE))

A Dell Inspiron laptop.

It just kept dying. Typing a Word document one moment, black screen the next. I bought this thing in August because I was going back to school and I needed a new laptop. By December I finally convinced them to replace the machine outright. I got a different model that lacked a lot of the features I had ordered.

I'm no longer a Dell customer.

When I was a child in the 90s I somehow scored a voice role in a hotdog commercial for the radio. I was paid a king's ransom for this, half of which my parents made me put in savings (wise), and half of which I spent on a brand new Sega CD (not wise).

The magic of postage stamp-sized full motion video took about three days to wear off, at which point all that was left was basically pure shit. They jacked me. At least I learned that lesson early.

Pioneer ddj400

Where do I start first off it comes with record box, for better effects or features you have to buy a subscription . The knobs come off in your hand and are made out of plastic crossfader sucks made out of plastic buttons stick, pads stick. It's just horrible

Years ago I owned a pioneer dgm 1000 the thing was built like a tank and held its value well. I sold it for something else about 3 years 4 years later and got the same price I paid for it..

I expected the pioneer 400 to at least be manufactured somewhat sturdy, and not feel like a Fisher Price toy..

Ended up finding a numark ns7Ii for a decent price.

Made out of metal, more buttons than you can shake a stick at very high quality. It's almost 10 years old and nothing's wrong with it..

The cheap pioneer mixerswill be E-Waste within a few years

A Sony mobile phone that couldn't remember the time when it was switched off.

True it's going back a while. But not so far that battery backed clock chips were uncommon.

An early Samsung phone my spouse bullied me into taking over from him. I don't know how anyone likes those. I went to Google phones and they're the only good thing about Google.

Qi chargers. These mofos are so god damn slow.

It's better to spend 2 sec plugging a charging cable than wait freaking hours for your phone to charge with Qi.

LG Optimus 2x, the first dual core smartphone.

What a piece of shit, never bought LG again. It kept randomly crashing and rebooting, along with a host of other problems.

Rechargeable beard trimmer. They last six months , then the charge is less than 5 minutes.

Nintendo Wii: as a loyal Nintendo purchaser here from the Game & Watch, to the Super Nintendo, N64 and GameCube, but the Nintendo Wii never let me back up my purchased downloaded games in a way I could transfer to another Wii without online access. I get that that's now standard but it was the first time I was burnt by it.