All Orange Cats Share One Brain Cell

There's a problem with your assertion.

Even if we go the the barest assertion that the definition of "wet" is "being covered in, or saturated, with water" ... Unless you're specifically talking about a singular water molecule (and have fun collecting just one,), water is in fact also covered in, or saturated with, water.

That is to say, water is in fact wet.

Which, is probably why Webster's defines "wet" as:

consisting of, containing, covered with, or soaked with liquid (such as water)

I was hoping we left the pedantry about the wetness of water behind on reddit

This is the first time in a year that I've seen someone do an "Umm actually, water isn't wet." I had hoped we had left that behind after leaving Reddit.

So you agree that water molecules touching things is what makes something wet?