The Onion

I know, this one is so plausibly something those psychos in the various school board across the fucked-up state of Florida would actually do, I honestly thought this was real for a moment.

They have already shut down entire school libraries, and censored several other public libraries, and are trying to make it illegal to speak freely about slavery or genocide or generally being critical of the US or the glorious military. And there is no shortage of 100% serious, 100% unironic talk ("protected free speech") among ordinary Florida folk about how the slaves actually had it pretty good since they never had to worry about paying for rent or food, and anyone could have done the unskilled labor they did, "I mean, they never had human rights, but what would ~~animals~~ I mean black folk want with those."

I mean, this Onion headline is really, really plausibly real, and might even become real pretty soon.

Thanks, this makes me feel way better about eating the onion here.

…especially in Florida.

Like, I laughed so hard at this, not because it’s even funny, but because I couldn’t tell if it was real.