this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
2 points (100.0% liked)

The Monkey's Paw

599 readers
1 users here now

Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 7 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

Granted. It's minor league. You make 40k a year. This, just barely, is a living wage. You never have enough to save. If you are ever injured, you will be destitute, both from the lack of income and the medical bills. The stress from it eats away at you. You start playing less aggressively to avoid that scenario. Eventually, you're at the bottom of the second string. You rarely are on the field. No glory, no enjoyment, no camaraderie with your teammates after a great play. Just a paycheck that barely keeps you alive, if you call that living.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

Granted, but all the corruption finally catches up to FIFA and the organisation crumbles. Professional games may resume at some point in the future, but it's uncertain; first, your contract falls through, and eventually all players are forced into their "backup career". Football is no longer televised, and all you can find are pickup games down the local green.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Granted. You suck at football and your professional career has paid dearly for it.

I guess that's not a monkey's paw, it's just literally granting what was asked for, typo and all.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Granted, you qualified to be on the Special Olympics Soccar team.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Granted, but it's American football and you can't remember your own children's names by the time you're 35 due to CTE.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Granted. You have a series of career ending concussions in your first season.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Granted. A large portion of your salary goes to private acting classes to better feign injury when being tackled.