Granted - Free euthanasia for any- and everyone, quick, painless, and guaranteed no sick people!
The Monkey's Paw
Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*
Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.
^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^
Granted, your free healthcare system is homeopathic and your surgeon general is Gwynneth Paltrow. But it's completely free!
My greatest fear
Granted. You didn’t define the word “free”. Everything now costs so much more, and it’s all unregulated. Doctors perform surgeries that aren’t necessary. They prescribe extremely harmful drugs. Going to a doctor is now just as risky as trying to deal with the disease by yourself. There are doctors on every street corner offering cures that don’t work, and you can’t tell the difference between a good doctor and a quack.
Pharmaceutical companies now freely and openly push doctors to prescribe more drugs that don’t work. They increase prices astronomically. Even an Advil costs over $100.
The death rate increases, and everyone tries to deal with their dead themselves because having a hospital deal with bodies is too expensive. This leads to an even further spread of disease.
Granted. You blink, and when you open your eyes you're in Germany. You're a full German citizen. You own a lovely flat in Munich. Your phone is full of contacts - people and family and friends throughout Germany. You have a German driver's license, you have a job at a German company, and your bank account is filled with Euros.
You speak no German.
I honestly wouldn't mind this.
I 100% thought that twist was going in a different direction. Other than getting fired in fairly short order, this sounds kind of fun and exciting.
You know all those news stories you hear about “Person wakes up and can only speak a language they never knew before”. That’s the cover story for these events.
German man wakes up, can only speak English.
Which is largely fine, as most Germans speak English.
Granted. If you choose to participate your likeness, fingerprints, dna, medical history, and potential children naming rights now belong to some tech startup without proper data security.
Granted, but it's only for the ruling class
Granted! Free healthcare for everyone to homeopaths and crystal healers!
Granted. It is free but the wait time is longer than your lifetime.
Granted. You now lose 35% of your income before you even receive it even paycheck, foreigners often get attended to despite not having submitted any of their paychecks, there's always a significant waiting list for anything serious upto multiple years for something like a hip replacement and you'll commonly find yourself wishing you had a it more income like your wealthier friends so you could afford to pay for private care and get a significantly better experience.
He asked for a new system, he didn't ask for a description of what we already have.
He asked for free healthcare in his country. I described what it looks like everywhere else as well as what the uneducated think "free" is. Seems I hit some nerves.
You didn't hit nerves, we're just laughing at you because you fundamentally misunderstand healthcare outside the United states.
Don't mistake mockery for anger. I, personally, feel sorry for you.
As someone not from the US and from one of those systems, that's exactly how it works but enjoy your copium.