[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

It wasn't really a well-known condition a few decades ago, though i think many veterans suffered from it, they just didn't know what it was. I was diagnosed with PTSD but not from anything war related.

In fact it's mostly from night terrors related to something I experienced as a kid, but not anything to do with my home life. I can't really explain it (and it's better if I don't) but I still deal with it. It started as a kid when I was about eight, and I'm not about to turn 65 and I still cannot sleep in a darkened room or any room with a doorway facing the bed.

I can't explain that, it would be useless to try, and the one person I did expain it to said he was having trauma now also and wished I'd never told him about what was going on. It's like planting a seed, sharing these horrors and that's something I don't want - I just have to deal with it the best I can.

Idk I always joked that I had PTSD before joining the army. So now I have two PTSDs.

It's extremely common for people to dismiss stuff they don't get. The only way to "get" any goddamn thing is to have experienced or seen it very close up, apparently, for a lot of people.

I have anxiety not PTSD. I used to think people with anxiety are just people who are wimpy and attention seeking. Until it happened to me. Full on irrational fear absolutely broke me. It's something I worry about every day.

I know it's not the same as what you are going through. But PM me if you want. Talking about it helps.

CPTSD is not that common: some people within psychology don’t even agree that it’s a distinct diagnosis.

I’ve had PTSD since I was 10 due to a violent, childhood trauma. My abuser was a parent, and I couldn’t leave. I felt horrible fear daily, struggled to sleep for many years, and have lasting issues that I’m actively working against. Eventually, a therapist told me she believed I had CPTSD, so I spent time researching and learning about it. I was surprised it was a divisive subject (2019).

I don’t think adding the C does much. I’m not sure if the distinct diagnosis helps. Sometimes, it feels like people add the C to try and validate what they went through as harsher or warranting special care. Pain is pain, and I don’t like comparing pain in that way. Whether it’s one horrible incident, repeated incidents, or a pervasive atmosphere, everyone’s pain in their journey is valid.

BPD is another diagnosis that often gets used or combined with PTSD. In my experience, people suffering from BPD have a specific vibe that’s hard to describe (sorta like wanting relationships but often assuming poorly of others, due to trauma or imbalances). I was diagnosed with BPD at one point, but that didn’t hold water as I sought help.

Anyway…I guess I’m disappointed that it sometimes feels like people are collecting disorders or heightening them for clout or focus without understanding how that can devalue the meaning of the words. Whether you have PTSD, CPTSD, or BPD, it’s not Pokémon. Everyone’s experience is going to be unique, and classifying is there to help you identify treatment or communicate quickly with other humans. But, I don’t like when those classifications are used poorly either.

Not really. I didn't consume that much news to begin with.

r/[email protected] and their recommended books really opened my eyes.

I didn't really get the official diagnosis and now I can't be bothered to get one.

I was diagnosed with CPTSD and made the mistake of telling my parents.

“You were never in the army you little liar, you’re just craving attention again. You’re grounded for 4 months. Your dinner is bread and water for the next 2 weeks”

Hmm I wonder where the CPTSD comes from? Don’t eat bread and water for 2 weeks you will have the most painful constipation of your entire life.

I know I don't like mentioning my PTSD diagnosis because I feel like what I've been through shouldn't cause that.

For a long time people wouldnt admit PTSD existed in the military let alone outside of it.

People that dont believe its a thing unless youve been in a war have never been so unlucky to experience something that causes that sort of trauma. They're fortunate.

Historically speaking PTSD in solders was treated as weakness and cowardice, and people were executed for it as a result. source

I feel like the narrative that only combat related trauma can cause "real" PTSD is one that I experienced as well, and it's kept me from considering the effects that the constant violence in my upbringing caused until fairly recently in my life.

But it's strange because searching for evidence of the narrative turns up lots of sites that are countering the narrative. But not much that shows how we got to the narrative in the first place.

Given that shell shock article I can imagine how accepting PTSD in combat situations but not other typed of trauma could be a stepping stone for some people to accepting that they might, themselves, need or benefit from therapy. But that's just a guess.

As a millennial growing up I definitely remember the narrative surrounding PTSD. Even for soldiers in war it was hard for the public to understand and wrap their heads around. Even in the late 90s/early 00s, mental health was still a very poorly understood subject in the public consciousness and was just beginning to get the attention it needs, and even though we have a ways to go in that aspect, we are far far better about it as a society than we were 25 years ago.

That said, I too was relatively recently diagnosed with CPTSD resulting from regular abuse as a child which along with undiagnosed autism contributed to feeling like an outsider growing up and even to this day. I am very selective of what I share about my personal mental health struggles publicly but I always advocate that only those experiencing these struggles can understand them and they need as much empathy as we (society) can spare.

Fellow CPTSD person here. Yes, it is in fact common in CPTSD treatment to start with validation that it doesn't have to be combat to be PTSD. Anything that makes you powerless can cause PTSD and if it is sustained or pervasive it becomes more likely to be Complex PTSD.

Not diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I've fought it a time or three. Maybe still fighting?

One Christmas Eve a couple of dudes barged in the house and took me at knifepoint, stole a thing. My roommate was much older, could have shot them, deemed it not worth the violence. Yeah, I was nuts about always having a knife on me, practiced for years until that wore off.

Couple of years ago a black bear wandered in the dog door. Wasn't here, a young friend was watching the house, and it made for a hilarious story. And then it sank in. Anything and anyone could come in that door. LOL, neighbor's wolf hybrid crept in one night and I pulled gun on him. "BRO! You cannot creep like that!"

Still, after the bear thing, I was paranoid about my pig getting attacked, or me. I stashed guns within reach everywhere in the house. Went kinda nuts for a year or so.

There's been other things in life, but suffice to say, you don't have to go through combat to get fucked into a weird headspace.

FFS, since Trump took over in 2016, and especially since the events of 2020, I've been a nutcase. I have a Colt .45 on my desk, 24/7. I have either a 12-gauge pump or an AR-15 by the bed, with lights and sights. And I practice. I'm under zero illusions that owning a gun makes anyone a badass.

But at this point in history, I can see a few of my neighbors turning into Brownshirts, going door to door, collecting guns, loading trains, "for my own good". (They all know I'm liberal as fuck.)

I have a couple of acres of swamp in Nowhere. Didn't buy it for a SHTF kinda place, but it is now. I'm close to being the prepper that we all made fun of in the 80s.

And yes, I remember the narrative. PTSD wasn't a thing until recently. And civilians certainly weren't recognized as sufferers. I get you.