this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2024
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~semi-~ Serious question, Idon’t get it. Most of us get why the hegemonic gender system is stupid, why subscribe to the binary role you were assigned? Also, why do straight people exist? Maybe it’s just me but I like to look and feel like my own perception of what is attractive.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I already have like eleven boy clothes. I can hardly muster the necessary space for clean and used storage, washing, and drying, the logistical expertise, the time of day, week, or year, nor the necessary enthusiasm to acquire a girl clothe on top of that

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I'm cis for the same reason someone would be binary trans, except I think the gender I was assigned happens to be correct.

EDIT: oh it's a bit

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's not fully a bit, I am interested in how people would actually answer it.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Fair enough, my answer is sincere for that it's worth.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Huh, honestly, good question, I guess I just like being the way I am: a straight skaterboy who sort of looks like mr.chamalet

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I am simply, and always have been, a cissy

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Of course I’m cis. My pappy was cis, my pappy’s pappy was cis, and his pappy before him was all cis. /S. Tbh tho I don’t feel like I identify as a girl or even non-male at all. I’m straight and cis and never had anything that really bothered me about it or made me question it.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

It's not really a tenable position that binary trans challenges gender more than cis. I wish I could just dig up my old rant on this but basically it went that a trans woman (to pick an example) is not rejecting masculinity as a concept nor challenging its place in society, she is merely rejecting personally practicing it and instead practicing a different role that co-defines masculinity. She is embracing the concept of masculinity and femininity as pillars of human existence by remaining in one of their silos.

Mind you, I think it's wrong to say they challenge gender less than cis people because that would be absurd, since cis people overwhelmingly constitute what gender is on a base level (as a product of patriarchal social order). Some terfs try to basically blame gender on binary trans people and it's immensely stupid, so let me be extra clear that I don't mean that.

The only people who I think can credibly be called the vanguard of gender abolition are those who reject their personally having a gender identity rather than just inventing a new one. Everyone else, myself included, is plainly not doing something comparable to this, though there are other productive things to be doing, and I support the traditional communist angle of attacking gender by attacking sexism (which ultimately defines gender) and the idea that there is any difference between what men and women should do on account of their gender (e.g. there is no such thing as a "man's job", a "woman's place", etc). Gender and sexism are intrinsically kind of the same thing in the same way that race and racism are, in that they have no substance without a belief in practical difference, which is widely understood on an intellectual level to be bigotry but still not really felt in many cases.

I wince at calling myself a "man" but, beyond that, call myself male out of social convenience. If the gender vanguard announced tomorrow that there would be no more men, it would change nothing about my self-perception or presentation.

Maybe it’s just me but I like to look and feel like my own perception of what is attractive.

Yes, that's what being homosexual means. I can't speak for others, but I prefer to be what is associated with men (physically speaking) because it's functional, while the aesthetic of women, for historical reasons relating to patriarchy, is overwhelmingly slanted towards being non-functional for things other than childbearing/rearing. I guess we have something in common because I tend to be more attracted to women who are fit rather than just thin, which by the definition I just laid out makes them a little more "masculine".

idk, breasts are attractive (see the unfortunate discourse on the front page) but I would never want to have them or any of the other pouches of fat that characterize visible female sexual dimorphism beyond wider hip bones (which seem fine to have), thinner bones (which no one should have) and of course genitalia. On that last point, well, I don't know how to explain this to someone who doesn't already understand it, but I am fine with having my own genitalia but am moderately revolted by those that aren't mine. Think of it like shitting, it's disgusting when it's someone else but with you it's just whatever. Vaginas are disgusting as well, but they are less visible and mechanistically get along with dicks pretty well most of the time.

That was my best attempt at simply explaining being a male cishet Marxist.

Edit: I think it's weird to get offended at this question being asked. It's not like it tagged people. If it annoyed me too much, I'd simply ignore it and/or block the poster. Wanting to understand the perspective of other people is good, actually.

Edit: I think if I was AFAB I'd either be butch or fully transmasc and still prefer women because dicks are still gross. Obviously my current perspective is deeply socially conditioned, so that speculation means nothing, but there it is.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Totally agree, I once grappled with the question of whether it would be better to be a greatly non-conforming lad or a be transfem. Though I settled on calling myself non-binary I thought like I was mtf for a time, and it was uncomfortable. Simply rejecting gender rather than inventing another one does sound like a great solution.

At this point I understand being a cishet man. Not too much effort, and women are great. Flip it for women. Again I’m not saying people shouldn’t be cis, I just thought it was an interesting question.

Personally, female fat distribution seems decent, though I wouldn’t like it’s extremes. Mostly hips are the superior part. Genitalia are gross, but at least female it’s out of the way,

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

sunk cost fallacy

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Cause I like being a man. I assume it's the same as how trans men like being men.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yea I dont think Monosexuals exist either. There are just different grades of bi.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

The term "monosexual" also applies to gay and lesbian people fyi

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

all I can think of when I read that is the simpsons monorail meme haha

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Where did you hear that? Wikipedia disagrees.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Is this still part of the bit?

A monosexual person may identify as heterosexual or homosexual.

It is sometimes considered derogatory or offensive by the people to whom it is applied, particularly gay men and lesbians.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

wdym, I'm not the one who used the term, I just don't see why Rasm disagreed with it. I don't know much about the word.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

You said that Wikipedia disagrees but Wikipedia clearly agrees. Yeah you didn't bring up the term but it's weird to bring up Wikipedia and obviously misrepresent it.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I thought of it myself

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

You're expected to "explain" yourself somehow and I learned the words and phrases about heteronormativity and cisgender(ness?) before anything else. I do wonder what labels I would have taken if non-binary were a term I was taught alongside (and with the same "matter of fact"ness as) masculine/feminine, boy/girl, male/female though.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

follow up question: have you always known you were cis? did your parents make you play with nerf guns if you are a cis boy or with dresses if you are a cis girl???

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They didn’t make me play with Nerd guns because they were anti-gun, I had to beg my Mom to get one because my Dad is so staunchly anti-gun.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Same for my family for a while

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I had to hide my orange toy snubnose from my dad. Luckily I didn’t put it in my backpack or a cop might’ve come and shot me lol

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I think most people just weren’t given options when they were young. People’s parents are just like “you have x parts and thus have this societal role.” Some, like mine will encourage you to express yourself however you feel, but there’s never presented any alternative to “you are your agab”

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I'm trans myself but I think some people just end up being cis. And that's OK. We shouldn't judge them for it...all that much...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

"why are you gay?" vibes. clown question, sorry.

People are the way they are, and thats it. Especially leftists, you aren't going to surprise them with the "gender is a social construct" thing. They are what they have decided to be.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You have missed the entire joke because you were too busy being upset that the questions asked to trans people were turned onto cis people.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

No leftist has ever asked "why are you trans?" in the way it's been framed here by OP.

Non leftists do that kind of unpolite questions, but I would expect a leftist trans person to not copy non leftist impolite behavior when dealing with leftists.

It's a bad joke tbh. Also in the wrong sub for jokes

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Where have I been impolite? As someone on the internet, you should know that most things are a mix between satire and seriousness. I simply flipped the stupid trans question onto cis people for giggles and because I was interested in what people could come up with. I do not mean to suggest that cis people shouldn’t exist, just that if we must justify ourselves then so should you. (Almost) Everything has a reason, even if it’s just “it happened to be this way by circumstance.”

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

IDK, I always just felt comfortable with he/him pronouns

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Because Joe Biden told me to be 😔

spoilerI guess I just never felt the need to question my gender identity because I’m lucky enough to have always been comfortable in the gender I was assigned, which is partially attributable to the fact that I was raised in an environment where my gender didn’t put any real expectations on me in terms of how I should act or what life path I should pursue

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's interesting to think about, I believe it stems from whatever perspective of gender roles you grew up in- especially division of chore labour lol- and probably others my ignorant cis ass is unaware of, but you still are affected by how others work within their views so even in a much more fluid upbringing, your immediate community plays a huge role.

HOME LIFEI had a split family for the middle of my childhood, the age where I really began to question life as is, and thus very different perspectives.

In Both houses I was the eldest son. In my main home with my mother, we didn't have a father figure in the later years, but she was all hippie dippie and gender roles only came into place in practice when i had to do grunt work or my older sister cleaned up. For the most part we never really had chores, we all severe ADHD and , I'm slightly embarrassed to say this word, trauma. But when shit goes down I'm the one who has go deal with stuff, and in that sense I'm considered masculine as I am seen as expendable. It does hurt when I have gripes with my mother, and only because shes the authority figure and - like most people- is a mixed bag of good and bad qualities, she puts my genuine issues with her in the box of "misogynistic hatred". So I never had gender roles until it was productive to put at my expense. The other houses was pretty Nuclear, with my father and stepmom, (tho my Father and gender could be a chapter on its own) I was the kid who had to clean up poop and pee and mow the lawn, but respect was always an us and them with the step siblings with us being the underlings. I hated that house and was the middle child, they always had this cast of me being awkward introvert but really I tried to get away from them as much as possible lol. And thus I was sort of taunted for my lack of masculine aggression by my older sisters and stepmom.

SCHOOL DAYSI was a very... different child. I was wild, but as caring as I was crazy. The stereotypical spikey hair blonde ADHD boy, didn't get an official diagnosis til covid as my dad didn't want a label but im sire everyone knew. I sorta had a group of guy friends around elementary school, but I ended befriending the warrior Cats kids, not really held together by gender as more our autism. That was my main group up till highschool, not much about roles other than my friend making a bunch of incel comments, she later came out as trans so what do you do lol. She'll come up later if I care to write the sexuality portion ;). I was defacto the only guy in the group but none of them were really gender presenting except for a cis girl. During all of this I was always that kid who would talk to anyone, but once highschool came I drifted from that friend group and into the new uncharted sea of hundreds of people I could meet, I was ecstatic.

I say I would talk to anyone but more and more my friends tended women rather than men, I always felt more comfortable with them, more emotional and mentally stimulating. In the beginning I was always teased by my friends for being their gay best friend or whatever, but as puberty completed during covid I became actually pretty masculine presenting, taller broader suddenly muscular, and became somewhat of a flirt. Never really dated or went on dates but I would dazzle with words so to say. Here I really felt cemented in a masculinity. Though boyfriends certainly weren't shaking in their boots lol.

I also had to deal with girls, especially when we were younger, saying I was the one good man or something, made me uncomfortable being idealized like that.

Guys never made fun of me or anything strangely, I was very loud and never had that self consciousness in the teenage way. I do have a tendency to get giggly around men, take the role of a SpongeBob, and I find myself complementing guys because it never happens to us and I like giving a genuine compliment. And so I was never really self conscious about bro and dude stuff, but feminity isn't something I ascribe to or even care about. Infact most of the people in my life who had gender roles on me were cis women but that could also be because most of the people in my life ARE women. I think I'm too extreme of an individual to get your average view point but it's interesting none the less.

SOCIETY AS A WHOLEBeing a cis boy raised lacking gender roles and having the world defaulting as masculine. I never really HAD to think about presenting my gender, it just was. I knew of those cartoonish Manospheres but they seemed so out of touch ideologically i never really ascribed to it. I knew of gender but I didn't know them personally. So I don't really care for the extremes but still sometimes think about feel uncomfortable with the idea of being a woman, but not in the girls have cuties way. Gender expression does make me wonder if young men trying to present masculine is toxic or is it the specific trends of those communities, I'm sure someone much smarter could answer.

I think it's also interesting too, being raised immersed only in English, gender isn't really something I think about, and I'm interested to see if dysphoria rates are higher in places where the language has stricter gender grammar.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I think some people in this thread underestimate the role of socialization. It’s interesting how many cis people don’t have to think much about gender and just feel they are in default position. Personally I almost feel in “default” as an enby.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

No urge to transition to anything other than my assigned gender. I might've experimented with skirts since they seem comfier but won't for fear of transphobia.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Kilts? scottish print on the skirt and fuck it. To haters you tell them it is more manly than having your stuff all compressed

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I actually did that and then it becomes this weird conversation where I try to justify wearing traditional scottish clothes because I don't have the guts to openly challenge gender norms.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

because when i wear a skirt im a femboy not a girl

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