Ask Me Anything
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This is the lemmy.ca AmA.
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What do you bond over? How do you or will you account for what is relatively a lifetime's worth of mental and emotional intelligence between the both of you? What is activity planning like?
Great question!
The whole “you guys don’t have shared experience” argument never really made sense to me. In the early stages of dating anyone, my age or not, I’m genuinely more excited and emotionally attached to learning new things about a person and gaining a new interest from them, far moreso than realizing we have shared experiences from before we met. He likes a bunch of music I’d never heard before. I’ve seen a bunch of tv shows he now loves. I like learning about new things and so does he.
And there is stuff we did both already love! We both love being outside on a nice day enjoying the breeze. We’re both dog people. We both crave the same food. So all that and more combined with new stuff we learn from each other has made for wonderful experiences.
The emotional intelligence thing I’m not really sure how to answer unfortunately. It’s not something I’ve thought about or that we’ve discussed. But it’s never felt like something that’s been an issue for us.
Activity planning is honestly the same as it would be in a relationship with anyone else! We love having time to do things together. I have my friends and he has his, and we both get along with each other’s social groups. Sometimes I take him to places that aren’t his speed, sometimes he does the same to me. But generally we make an active attempt to do things and go places we’ll both enjoy.
Thanks for your answer, I'm in a new relationship with an age gap about half of yours, im the younger one.
I'm curious to know what issues you have had to work through so far? Or the closest thing to what you have come to fighting over?
I'm not concerned about the age gap we have but she was raised very differently from me and it does bother her so I'm just curious about your perspective being on the younger side of an age gap (I'm also twice your age)