This is the same aunt I got into a screaming match with many months ago, the same aunt my grandmother defended while claiming I was influenced by the devil and I was forced to apologize to. She is technically my great aunt (grandma’s sister in law) but I call her aunt because it’s easier.
Anyway when I got home from school I noticed my grandma wasn’t home and was told she was out with the aunt. I immediately felt dread as I knew that meant when my grandma came home the aunt would also be here visiting. She does this all the time and I usually just ignore her (with a cordial hello but that’s it), but I knew with the election results she’d yap away.
Almost immediately after she arrived at my house she was cackling, calling my name and telling me she was going to make me mad: “my friend trump won! Haha! My friend trump one!” Says the Portuguese immigrant in Canada. I just replied in the most deadpan voice “okay???” And left it at that. My grandma laughed and I was screaming in my head.
When we first had our argument and I flew off the handle, she went blabbing to my mother about my behaviour when my mom was visiting her place. She told my mom that we were having a nice discussion and she didn’t know why I got so angry (nice discussion my ass), my mother defended me by telling my aunt to never speak politics with me ever again because I know a lot more about this stuff than she does. I remember immediately after the fight I called my mom crying, so she already knew what went down before.
So why in gods name did this removed come cackling in the kitchen trying to drag me into a fucking argument? Probably because she knows I can’t fight back, I’m not allowed to, because last time I did I was forced to apologize to her after getting a verbal lashing from my grandma (this did not happen on the same day, my grandma picked me up from the bus stop a few days later and tore into me while driving home, it was a horrific experience especially because in her anger she pivoted away from the aunt situation into other grievances she has with me and my dog, it made me feel like a fucking monster). Sometimes I feel like my grandma loves this aunt more than me, and it makes me think “why don't you go live with her than if she’s so damn important to you?”
Anyway that’s my rant. I hate it here.
When people get this toxic it's best to just cut them out. I don't know your situation, but thinking about it with regards to my situation: I don't think I would keep up a relationship with this individual. She's not an immediate family member, after all she's a great-aunt.
She strikes me as a sad and pathetic individual. Someone who's death won't mean as much as they think it would to other people. What I'm trying to say is this: she overvalues herself to the point where she thinks she can just start an aggressive argument with you.
I'm not surprised she's a trump supporter, I have people in my family who are perfectly normal people until you bring up specific politics. I don't talk with those people about politics, but they at least have the decency to not open up (or attack) me for my beliefs.
She has no right to treat you this way, none of this is your fault. You're a sane and moderate individual, don't ever think you're wrong or are being too hard on her.
You're good 👍🏾 don't be hard on yourself, you did nothing wrong.
I know once I am able to live on my own so many people are getting cut out, including this aunt, because I refuse to engage with people like this. I’ve tried educating them but I always end up getting yelled at, so I never bring politics up anymore.
Unfortunately right now I live with the matriarch of the family (grandma) so whatever she says goes, and whoever she has over is not up for discussion. I just have to go with it and not put up a fight (lest I get accused of being possessed by the Devil). The best I can do at the moment is leave the area as soon as I can and just not engage. It sucks. But its what needs to happen until I am able to leave on my own.
You pretty much got her personality down to a T, she finds joy in other’s misery and the only people she seems to value are her daughters.
Thank you for the kind words, I am subjected to quite a bit of gaslighting from time to time (not as much anymore since I’ve elected to stay silent) so it’s nice to be reassured I am not wrong.
It's going to be hard but don't engage anyway. Save and protect your energy for things that are important.