this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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Recently, I've been mindful of how long fights are in movies.
Sword fight? Fanning at each other, crossing and smacking swords. Maybe even walking around each other. I don't think that's how a real sword fight would look.
Fights where it's mostly talking. Talking and talking. Nobody would fight like that.
Fist fights without a smack and dead. It's fancy movement - only because of the shaky camera and cuts of course. Give me back Jackie Chan or smack them once and they fall over.
I also dislike noticing the wire-guided movements. Fast acceleration and you can see them balancing in the air lifted by wires. Wires removed after-the-fact, but it's such unnatural movement.
And of course, the classic gunfight where nobody hits anything.
Or any monster chase or fight. If a giant monster chases you it's faster and instant-kills you. But not in movies.
It's certainly prevalent.
Just watch Olympic fencing; you get a very fast exchange that you can't follow, and then someone has a point. In a real sword fight, without armor, that's about what would happen. OTOH, when everyone is wearing armor, it gets a lot messier.
That is surprisingly common. Most people are really bad shots when they're stressed out. It's physiological; when your body dumps adrenaline into your bloodstream, you lose fine motor control. So unless you've trained extensively under stressful conditions, you're gonna have a hard time doing shit.
When I see armor fights I always think of how exhausting it would be very fast. I'd love to see exhausted people gasping for air. :P
Still, blunt weapons can still be 1-hit KOs or heavy hitters. But you don't see that either.
I read an interesting article about historical armor fights. Basically some researchers got special forces members to wear replica historical armor and simulate battle as described in various surviving epics and identified the armor to be surprisingly effective
It is, honestly, not nearly as bad as you'd think. The weight should be pretty well distributed, armor doesn't have to be all that heavy to stop a sword, and the gambeson is doing a lot of the heavy lifting for piercing weapons. Blunt weapons, well, those are going to be unpleasant pretty much no matter what. You get really hot though; there's a reason that the Saracens did such a number on the crusaders when they were able to get them outside of cities.
Wearing a plate carrier is, IMO, worse than wearing a gambeson and chain maille.