this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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Lord of the memes
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To be fair, his name is Celeborn. Can't blame him for being celibate.
No, I blame Tolkien and his literally making elves only bang for the purpose of procreation because he's a repressed Catholic weirdo sometimes.
Jokes on him, modern society has agreed elves are hos.
It would be prudent for a sentient species with such long lifespans to practice planned procreation rather than multiplying exponentially like a culture on a petri dish.
There's the Elven Rope that's light as a feather and strong as steel. No reason there could not have been the Elven Condom that's thin and impermeable.
I'm sure they had them, but they're incompatible. Can't make Elven Ropes while wearing an Elven Condom.