Melbourne

Thanks for the kind words/wishes yesterday, and low for reaching out

I just want to clarify in case I've sent the weekly message, I'm okay. Well I'm about 30% okay, but I'll get through it.

I left because over the last few months I've really just felt like a burden pretty much any time I say anything. It's not entirely because of what I say, but I think more often because I realise that everyone else, whether here or not, has much larger issues, while I'm off complaining about minor things in approximately 7,000 worse per comment. I tried to fix that by cutting down on what I say, how often I'm here, and by trying to help other people when I could, or otherwise try and be openly empathetic (I used to hold off because I thought that "aw I'm sorry such and such is happening to you. Hope it stops happening soon!" sounded too much like a hollow statement, despite finding it very helpful when people would reply to my troubles similarly). But usually I ended up figuring out a way to make it about me, which was pretty awful of me, and I almost deleted my account a few weeks ago when I realised. But I took a little break instead

The break doesn't seem to have helped, I think I'm just genuinely shit at anything that's not a 1 sided dialogue. I hate that, and to be honest, kind of despise myself for it. Probably a side effect of not having many friends when I was younger so not developing proper social skills, and being in care for so long, where everything very much is one sided and hollow. But in any case, it's a deficit that I realise I have, and can't seem to be able to fix. But I think because of that, I'm not a very good person to interact with, so until I do work it out, I just don't think I do anyone any good being around here

But I do sincerely appreciate the help and advice everybody here had given me. You are all amazing people, and I'm sorry for the troubles I've caused

I'll be back one day, but I don't think I should come back until I know I can do better. I actually think that may come naturally once I move out and into an environment more conducive to good mental helath

✌️