this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
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Really over the anxiety/depression :/ just deep unease all of today and now feeling really glum and dull about everything. I even walked to work in the sun this am, and work was productive, but I still felt detached and fuzzy. Cough still rattling around too. I don't think taking a sick day is going to help as I'll just be unsettled all day.
No suitable rentals have popped up so far on my radar. Registered interest in a couple but no updates yet.
Ugh. I managed to buy some veg on the way home, I'll force myself to make a pasta dish and eat it and crawl into bed to dissociate on the phone for the rest of the evening. Tomorrow is a new day...
E: soxcat is still here as her human won't be back til Monday. It's saying something that I can't even feel that happy around her, but she's been snuggling up against me lots. And left a whisker on tgr couch for me - that's good luck isn't it?
lomg kitty whisker
That is one IMPRESSIVE whisker. According to Doreen Tovey (yes I've been re-reading Cats in May and Cats in the Belfry), chewing off a whisker or two is a love offering. You were there for her when she was suffering, so now she's there for you. Who says cats can't do empathy?
Anxiety is horrible, soul destroying and crippling. But it does usually comes in waves, admittedly a wave can last a long time. Just hold on for a break in the surf where you will have a respite from the anxiety.
Thanks man. Yeah, I know in my mind that it'll pass, even if it's a month away, but man this is such shitty timing. Sucks being physically unwell too. I'm going to reframe my early bedtime as looking after myself and creating a sense of safety so I don't feel like I'm spiraling. I got this. One day at a time.