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After is a new dating app that tries to tackle ghosting (techcrunch.com)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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a few interesting ideas in here, but also a few weird ideas and ideas i don't think are going to work at all. (also i'm not sure it's actually possible to build a "good" dating app.)

What sets the app apart from the rest of the dating app scene is that After requires users to share why they have unmatched a person before they are allowed to keep swiping. The idea behind the feature is to get rid of abrupt disconnections and confusion.

If two people match on After and start a conversation, but one person stops replying, they will be nudged to respond. If the person still doesn’t message the other user, the match expires. Before they can use the app’s features again, they need to choose a reason why they let the match expire.

Users can choose from a list of reasons to explain why they decided to stop responding. For instance, they can say distance was an issue or that the vibes didn’t match. After will then create a kind message and send it to the other person, and remind them that this isn’t a representation of who they are or their worth.

After will soon include opt-in mental health check-ins where you can reflect on your mood and feelings. And if the app thinks you have been using it too much, it will suggest that you take a break.

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 month ago (10 children)

This sounds like a good idea on paper but will likely be terrible in real life. A lot of people ghost for their own safety. So many people have stories of dates turning nasty if they feel like they're being rejected or criticized. Being forced to describe what you don't like about the other person will not always end well.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You don't have to tell the truth.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You don't have to tell the truth.

Making it exactly like any other dating app.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But then what's the point of the feature if no one is telling the truth?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Closure. People lie in real life too, not just on the internet.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I don't understand why you'd want to see people lie to you. That just seems like a waste of everyone's time to me.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Because when ghosted, some people catastrophise. If it happens a lot they start to worry about what might be wrong with them. Our brains aren't wired for it.

So, yes, sometimes a polite lie is better than nothing. Sometimes a polite lie is better than the truth. Its not you, its me.

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