Off My Chest
RULES:
I am looking for mods!
1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.
2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)
3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.
4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.
5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.
6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.
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Did she even ask you to do that? Maybe she was just venting about a difficult situation with a coworker too.
Maybe she didn't want to be involved in their business. Or the coworker made it clear they don't want anyones leftovers... there are many reasons why she might have left the food at home.
If she explicitly asked you to make enough food for her coworker, I understand your frustration. Otherwise thats not solely on her and you both need to communicate better.
She didn't explicitly ask me to make food, but she had told me that sometimes her coworkers don't have lunch. Making meals from scratch costs pennies to the dollar, and I've heard the complaint enough to adjust my cooking standard to cook for 5 people. I know my wife cares about these people, so I care about these people, and I WILL not have someone go hungry, so if you if I get a hint otherwise, you're getting a meal. However, I don't think my wife has the same logic as I do. I hate wasting food, and I won't do it if I can help it, so when she leaves the leftovers that are meant to feed all of her coworkers, it upsets me
This is, as others have said, a love languages thing.
Mine is acts of service. When I overstep for my wife and do things for her when she's asking for an ear, she now understands what I'm doing and why and redirects me to actually listen.
That, and she enjoys all the cooking and cleaning I do so that she can relax when she gets home.
We almost never fight now as a result of this and it's almost always a "This is what I need from you" kind of talk that we can both appreciate and respond to rather than just a screaming match.
Ask your wife for help in feeding her coworkers from time to time. That might work better. Tell her that you're concerned for them.