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it sounds like you hate human nature not communism. Anyway that sounds terrible, I wish you were able to give me more details so that I could try and learn from your friend's family's experience. I wouldn't try to doxx you, I don't have that kind of free time or energy, but I def understand the hesitation.
I guess I would argue that calling something communism doesn't make it so, and there's all different strains of communism too. For example, I've often found myself working with Trotskyists who explicitly reject forming "communes" that could become cults, and guerilla groups to seize power through violence. Even if its good for the people to form militias, trots tend to believe it isn't where the energy of the "vanguard" should be directed, and that instead people should seize political power and smash the state via those means. There's no history I'm aware of of what you're describing happening with Trotskyists, in fact there's sort of a nasty history of trotskyists getting rounded up and killed by the sort of groups you are against.
You can be a socialist and recognize the need to change the social order away from capitalism while still being suspicious of communism. Just because a guerilla group did something awful doesn't mean capitalism is good (which you don't say, you seem to have some anti imperialist critiques of capitalism yourself) or even that there is no alternative to capitalism. If this is the best system possible, the planet, all people are fucked. Something, someone has to fight against it. Capitalism can't be reformed.
Its interesting that your misanthropy seems to be directed at a system that has never existed rather than the system that actually exists. But I don't know you so maybe that's an unfair generalization. Anyway, thanks for your response, maybe next time we can have a more detailed discussion.
Edited some clarity and tone