No Stupid Questions

2307 readers

56 users here now

There is no such thing as a Stupid Question!

Don't be embarrassed of your curiosity; everyone has questions that they may feel uncomfortable asking certain people, so this place gives you a nice area not to be judged about asking it. Everyone here is willing to help.

ex. How do I change oil
ex. How to tie shoes
ex. Can you cry underwater?

Reminder that the rules for lemmy.ca still apply!

Thanks for reading all of this, even if you didn't read all of this, and your eye started somewhere else, have a watermelon slice 🍉.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

If I don't care what pronouns are used, can I still be an ally? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

NSFW 44 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Trigger warning: this could be upsetting

Shortly after graduating school, I hung out with someone I met once before and was raped and have some trauma in my background. It was aquaintance rape I guess? I barely knew him. There's other bad stuff that's happened that's also horrifying, some of it worse than that.

I am biologically male and effeminate, but don't want to have a female body. I don't really feel like anything and sort of don't care what people call me. I am slightly asexual just from trauma and don't really feel like I exist in a way. It wouldn't surprise me if I'm not around in another decade.

I support trans people, but feel like putting he/him next to my name sort of implies a more clear identity than I have or implies I care about how people label me. I don't. I sort of barely exist and don't like to imply otherwise. People can call me anything, I don't care. I don't see myself as female or a they or it. I don't see myself as anything.

I almost want to go like (he/him/*) but I am afraid this would be disrespectful.

I truthfully would like to be (he/him/🫥/💀) which would obviously be seen as demeaning. I feel like anything other than normal parantheticals opens the door to a distracting conversation that I don't want professionally and often don't want personally. And I feel like nothing after my name is dog-whistle for trans-people-are-invalid.

(I don't care about pronouns but support trans people) also seems disrespectful and sort of like "i want attention" and I really don't.

I wish I could support trans people without having to label myself or my body or even bring up these topics. Is there a way to do that? There probably isn't.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I feel like any and all would imply a fluidity more than feelings of disconnectedness, as though I identify as multiple genders, and I don't. I just mostly don't care and barely feel like a person. I don't wear dresses or want to. When I say i'm effeminate, i just mean my voice and mannerisms don't sound masculine. Perhaps I should actually use (he/him) but I feel like that implies typical male dude and that doesn't really accurately describe me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

you're way overthinking this. pronouns are about pronouns. it's not that complicated. any/all means you don't care what people say. he/him means you want masculine pronouns. he/they (he/them) means you prefer masculine but are fine with they.

just put whatever you prefer. no one cares what you are; people who look at these are only concerned with what you prefer to be called in third person. that's it.